Must See TV, I Mean Blog Post!

Please hop on over to Kae and Jon Tienstra's blog. They're literary agents located here in the great state of PA. I had the distinct pleasure of meeting Kae this past Tuesday (and enjoying a rocking tuna club sandwich!), and she asked me to write about my recent conference experiences for her blog. That's us above after our wonderful lunch at a local diner.

And, thanks for all your wonderful wishes to the parental units. They're greatly enjoying reading your comments, so keep those cards and letters coming!!

HIDE THE DANCING GIRLS! Parental Units Arriving Shortly!

Yes, it's true. I have a mom and a dad. And they're flying out from Denver to see their favorite eldest daughter and her lovely sons, handsome husband, and six cats this very afternoon. In honor of their impending arrival, I thought I'd post the Top 10 Things You May Not Know About Judy & Fred:

1) They met on a blind date in the late 50's that took place in a bowling alley. She was wearing a pair of black and white saddle shoes, a poodle skirt, and a button-down sweater, and he had his hair slicked back and was wearing jeans with a pack of cigs rolled up in his white t-shirt. Very James Dean. My mom thought he was really sexy because he blew perfect smoke rings. (Thankfully, he quit that nasty habit when I, his Little Princess, was wee royalty.)

2) My mom got her college degree at the age of 41 in Health Care Management and Finance after pursuing it in between the births of faw, gawgiss dawtas (yeah, we lived on Long Island, baby!).

3) My dad has his Master's Electrical license and has his own electrical business. His college degree is in commercial art. (Go figure!)

4) My mom is the Past President of the Western Section of MGMA - Medical Group Management Association, an organization that has about 25,000 members nationwide.

5) My dad went through basic training in Ft. Lenordwood, MO and was in the army in Buckroe Beach, VA when I was a baby. It was when Kennedy activated the troops for the Berlin Wall Crisis. Fortunately, he wasn't called to Germany.

6) My mom is the Executive Practice Manager for the doctor's at Craig Hospital, a world renown hospital for patients with spinal cord injury and traumatic brain injury. She's been there over 30 years.

7) My dad grew up on Coney Island selling trinkets to tourists on the boardwalk. Some of his high-school friends included Carole King, Lou Gossett, Jr., and Neil Sedaka.

8) My mom was a severe asthmatic as a child, and at the age of 13 moved by herself from Queens, NY to Denver, CO to live at CARIH - the Children's Asthma Research Institute and Hospital . CARIH became National Jewish, the number one hospital in America for allergy and immunology. As an adult, she has been, for the most part, asthma-free. She was also diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago, underwent treatment, and is now cancer-free!

9) My dad is a hardcore Colorado sports fan - Rockies, Nuggets, Avalanche, Broncos - he LOVES them all! (As do the rest of us!)

10) My mom and dad will be celebrating their 50th Wedding Anniversary in September!

11) (Sorry, I had to add another - just like in the movie Spinal Tap when the amp goes up to 11. Why? Well, that's easy! Cause it's one higher than 10!) MY MOM AND DAD ARE THE GREATEST PARENTS A LITTLE PRINCESS COULD EVER HAVE!!!

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About...SIKHS (but were afraid to ask!)

Last night I had the privilege of attending a surprise 50th birthday party for my husband's boss, who happens to be one of the most intelligent, kind, generous and compassionate men we've ever known. He also happens to be a Sikh. In the book, "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sikhs, But Were Afraid to Ask*" I discovered the following:

1) Sikhism is the 5th largest organized religion in the world with approximately 26 million members, 75% of which live in Panjub, India;
2) They believe in a universal God that is formless vs. a God that is human-like. One can interpret God as the Universe itself;
3) Salvation can be reached only through rigorous and disciplined devotion to God;
4) The Gurū Granth Sāhib and the Dasam Granth are the two primary scriptures of sikhs;
5) The religion was formed in the 15th and 16th centuries;
6) Nanak, the founder of Sikhism, lived from 1469-1538;
7) Their place of prayer is called the "Gurdwara" meaning "doorway to God";
8) Sikhs participate in daily recitation from memory of specific passages from the Gurū Granth Sāhib;
9) Sikhism is not a form of Islam;
10) Upon a child's birth, the Guru Granth Sāhib is opened at a random point and the child is named using the first letter on the top left-hand corner of the left page;
11) All boys are given the middle name or surname Singh and all girls are given the middle name or surname Kaur;
12) Religiously speaking, neither husband nor wife are permitted to divorce, although this may be done through a civil court;
13) Baptised Sikhs are ordered to wear the Five K's which include wearing a kara, a circular iron bracelet, and kes, not cutting their hair (the turbans the men wear hold a lifetime's worth of hair).

I'm a vegetarian and Indian is my favorite food, so me and the buffet got quite chummy. The women's gorgeous, brilliantly colored, silk outfits were like ohmygod to die for, and the DJ played all current Indian music with dashes of Bollywood, Michael Jackson, and rap all mixed together. Both young and old knew all the words to all of the songs (in Punjabi), and men danced with men and women with women, although there was also a bit of "mixed" dancing.

Until last night, I thought we Jews had it hands down when it came to throwing a great party. But, I have to say - the competition from the Sikhs is MIGHTY fierce!!!

Here are some pictures from the party. The first is of the birthday boy and his lovely wife (who really knows how to take over the dance floor!); next is the Cake Ceremony attended by the family; and last, some of the beautiful women in their magnificent garments (note the long, luxurious hair). If I play my cards right (I love Spider Solitaire and Hearts), maybe I'll be Indian in my next life.

*There is no book by that name, although it sounds dangerously similar to a book I may or may not have read over and over again in middle school.

Wild Ride in NYC!!!

OK, got the partials and full out over the last couple of days. Now, let me catch you up on my wild ride in NYC!

First up was BEA - Book Expo of America. Last Wednesday was the Writer's Digest Conference portion of the 5-day conference. The day started with a talk by Karin Slaughter, crime writer. My BEA buddy Judith and I decided she's the Ellen Degeneres of the publishing world. Every sentence out of her mouth was funny. Here's a pic of me, Karin, and Judith:

She told how she owned a signage company and decided to go for her real passion, writing. She was an overnight success ten years in the making. It took her that long to secure an agent, but once she did, she's been publishing books ever since.

After that, Judith, and I attended several workshops including How to Build Characters, an Ask the Agents Panel featuring the hilarious Janet Reid, Barbara Poelle, Ted Weinstein and Michelle Andelman, and finally a Polish Your Pitch Session, which geared you up for the big event... the PITCH SLAM! Pitch Slam is like Speed Dating for authors and agents. You've got three minutes to pitch your book (yup, they time you, although some agents didn't pay much attention, which was nice). The agent then either passes or asks for sample pages. I pitched to six agents and all six asked for pages - five partials ranging from 10 - 50 pages and a full. The first five I pitched to all asked for sample pages, and I almost quit while I was ahead. Thankfully, I didn't, because I LOVED the last agent and she's the one who asked for the full! Like I said, that day was right up there with the day I got married, the days my kids were born, and all the times I performed live with my band. It was that good.;-)

The next day, the Backspace Conference began with an Agent/Author day. I was in a room with 29 other writers. We stayed in our seats while different groups of agents rotated through. We were supposed to have had the opportunity to read our query and first two pages to at least two groups. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way, and instead we only got to read to one group each. I was lucky, because the group I read my first two pages to included the agent who'd asked me for my full the previous day. Thank goodness she liked my first two pages, or that may have ended her request for my full! A lot of writers were unhappy with the way the day went, mainly due to the inability to get much feedback. I'm sure Backspace will correct this in the future.

The next two days were filled with fabulous workshops. I attended a Buy this Book! session led by agent Jeff Kleinman, where we took on the roles of Marketing Manager, Editor, Publicity, etc. and got a real sense of how editors pitch our books to the publishing houses. It was fascinating. I learned that you need a platform for both non-fiction and fiction, it's important to secure book reviews by known authors, and that you've really got to have an enthusiastic editor pitching your book. Additional workshops included a panel on the Agent/Author Relationship where two agents with two of their clients talked about what that relationship is like, Query Letters that Work gave helpful tips such as personalizing your query, doing your research, putting title, genre and word count up front, etc. Some additional workshops I attended included What Literary Agents Want or Why It's So Hard to Find Representation, Getting Your Book Reviewed, and Yes, No, Maybe - When Agents Ask for Revisions. On Friday night, they had a cocktail party and famous thriller writers Lee Childs and David Morrell were in attendance. (David Morrell won a Backspace Award, and also participated in a panel on Saturday and was the closing keynote speaker.) The most important part of my Backspace experience was finally meeting my new BFF Julie from Columbus, Ohio in person! She's an extremely talented commercial fiction and YA writer. Here we are all dressed up for the party.

Overall, both conferences were extremely worthwhile. I'd highly recommend them to all serious writers with a completed ms in search of an agent. Just beware, your stomach will not thank you! Mine was in knots most of the time, but I figured that was simply proof that I was throwing my hat in the ring and playing full-out. After all, ain't that what life's about?

After the conferences, Chuck met me in NYC for an extended weekend. On Saturday night, we met up with my friend, Wendy and her wonderful husband, Vince for a scrumptious dinner at Beacon. I met Wendy last September when I attended my first writer's conference, The Algonkian Pitch and Shop in NYC. Since then, Wendy has gone on to find an agent. She's near the end of the revision stage, and is gearing up to send her women's fiction book out on submission. I wish her the best of luck! It was great seeing her and catching up.

The next day, we saw Wicked, which is absolutely NOT to be missed, and visited the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Annex (the "real" one is in Cleveland, OH) where there's a special exhibit on John Lennon produced by Yoko. Being the rock princess I am, I was completely in my element and could have moved in and lived there happily ever after. If you're in NYC, I insist you attend both of these shows. You'll be forever in my debt, and I love when people are forever in my debt. Also, one lane of Broadway is closed off to traffic for a few blocks until the end of the year, so people can walk around or pull up a lounge chair and sit on the famous street. That was quite a hoot! (You can see in the picture the cars and taxis on the left, and pedestrians on the right.)

Here are a few more pics. Enjoy, and thanks for not giving up on me while I was away from my post this past week or so. You guys rock!!!!!

I'm Baaaack!!!!

OMG! This past week was so utterly, totally, wildly, positively AMAZING that I hardly know where to begin. First of all, being a complete dork, I accidentally left my laptop at home. That turned out to be a good thing, however, since it caused me to focus strictly on the task at hand.

BEA was beyond miraculous. I pitched one-on-one to six agents, and all six asked for sample pages. That day was right up there with my wedding day, the days my kids were born, and all the times I've performed live with my band. That's how mega-spectacular it was. And Backspace rocked as well. I'm keeping this short, since I have a lot of sample pages to get out. There's a particularly wonderful agent who asked me for a full, so that's at the top of my list. I promise I'll write a complete update late tomorrow or Wednesday including pics. Until then, know I love and miss you all toooooo much.

(Sorry, I don't mean to be a tease. But being the anal-retentive freak that I am, I have to read through my ms one more time before I send it out. PLEASE understand!!!! Hugs to all...)

NYC, Here I Come!!!!

I'm gearing up for two writers conferences next week. The first is the BEA - Book Expo America. The part I will be attending is the writers conference portion held on May 27th. There will be workshops all day and then what they call a Pitch Slam in the afternoon. The Pitch Slam is home to the largest gathering of agents in any one place for this type of event - 66 agents to be exact. How it works is you choose which agents you want to pitch to, get in his or her line, wait your turn, and pitch directly to them one-on-one. No pressure. I'm told there were writers in tears last year. Hopefully, yours truly will not fall into that category.

The rest of the conference goes from May 28th - 31st and is for booksellers, agents, editors, publishers, educators, librarians, and published authors from varying genres. Some of the more well-known authors include Nicolas Sparks, David Balducci, Meg Cabot, Jeanette Walls, Craig Ferguson, and Tracy Kidder. The part I'd most like to see, however, is the Keynote Speakers on May 28th. Steven Tyler of Aerosmith and Clarence Clemons, the Big Man from Springsteen's E-Street Band will "discuss their memoirs and provide behind-the-scenes and ultimate insider accounts of their lives on and off the big stage." That appeals greatly to my rock princess sensibilities.

However, I'll miss out on that tasty tidbit because I'll be in the second writers conference of the week - the Backspace Writers Conference. This conference is held from May 28-30. The first day of Backspace is the Agent-Author Day where more than 20 high-profile agents rotate between three conference rooms listening to the 100 attendees query letters and first two pages of their manuscripts (this is for writers with completed ms's only). They'll listen to the pages and stop you when they've "heard enough" or "lose interest" and give the ever-popular "constructive criticism." Again, no pressure. On Days 2 & 3, there will be workshops on topics ranging from "The Agent-Author Relationship" to "Writing the Fight Scene" to "Query Letters that Work."

I was also lucky enough to sign up for a one-on-one with Deborah Serra, a successful screenwriter who has written eleven TV movies, seven feature films, two one-hours, two pilots, and over twenty half-hours. Her work has been produced by CBS, NBC, Lifetime, Showtime and others. I've e-mailed her a chapter from my book, and when we meet she will critique the dialogue aspects of it with me. I'll also be attending a "Polish Your Pitch" workshop, which is in addition to the regular conference. I'm feeling verklempt by the amount of information and networking opportunities with both writers and agents I'll experience next week!

And, as I stated in my previous post, I've been recruited by the lovely Agent Kae Tienstra to be the "eyes and ears" at both conferences and report back to her on what I've learned. I'll be guest blogging over her way sometime the week of June 1st. Please feel free to hop on over and see what she and her husband Jon have going on. (I'd highly recommend querying them. They're a class act.)

I'll post before I leave on Tuesday for NYC, I'll try and post while I'm there, and I'll certainly give a run-down after I return (providing I haven't thrown myself off the George Washington Bridge in utter frustration and writerly defeat!).

Kittens and Puppies and Hares, Oh My!

What do you do when life doesn't go your way? Do you get angry? Throw yourself a pity party? Revert into yourself and tell the world to back off? I've got a new way to deal with those nasty negative thoughts that creep into my brain and threaten to take me to a deep, dark place. I think of kittens and puppies and little, baby bunnies. I imagine right about now you're thinking I'm crazier than you thought I was before you read this post, and you're probably right. But you know what? It works. And, since I'm an eternal optimist, I believe whatever works to keep my thoughts positive and in line with who I say I am and the person I want to be, then that's what I'm going to do. So, I'm thinking about kittens and puppies and bunnies. And, I must admit, I'm feeling pretty damn happy right now.;-)

How do you act when life serves you lemons, and what do you do to get yourself out of the funk?

IN OTHER NEWS...
I'm greatly looking forward to the BEA and Backspace Writers Conferences next week in NYC and to (finally!) meeting my friend, J (woo-hoo!). A wonderful agent by the name of Kae Tienstra has asked me to be her eyes and ears while in NYC and guest blog upon my return. Please check out her website and let her know of any writers conference experiences you've had as well.

And the Winners Are...

First of all, I want to thank each and every one of you for participating in my little soiree here at Write on Target in honor of my 100th post (especially those of you who linked me and got extra Brownie Points!). I'd also welcome the new folks who came on board in the last few days. I'm blown away by your kind words and continued support.

I won't delay the anticipation any further. If you are a winner, please e-mail me at dlschubert@verizon.net and give me your home address so I can mail you your goodies.

1)Winner of commenters on the 99 & Counting post is....................dbcooper! $10 Gift Card
2)Winner of commenters on the 100!!! post is....................Shasta! $20 Gift Card
3)Winner in the New Followers category is....................BigMark 243! $10 Gift Card

4) AND THE GRAND PRIZE WINNER IS (drum roll please!).........WrittenWyrdd! $20 Gift Card PLUS your choice of either The First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman or Never Have Your Dog Stuffed by Alan Alda AND you get to name either a homicide detective or a nun in my current WIP. (Please e-mail me to let me know which book you'd like and to discuss the character name.)

I'm sorry to all the wonderful folks who didn't win. It makes me genuinely sad. You have my word that if I'd won the lottery in the last several days, you each would have gotten Borders gift cards, but alas, I'm broke as ever. However, the good news is, you can hop on over to QueryTracker.net and help them celebrate their two-year anniversary. You'll have the opportunities to win some seriously great stuff!

Again, my sincere thanks for making this party a huge success. My love and gratitude to all. I'll be back to regular programming in a few days...

Debbie

100!!!!!

WELCOME TO MY PARTY!!!

I hope you like cupcakes. Here we are. You. Me. Together again. Isn't this nice? Kind of cozy. It's hard to believe this is my 100th post. What a freakin' milestone this is! Of course, birthdays, anniversaries and 100th blog posts are nothing more than our perception of what we say is important in this bizarre experience we call "life." It's all made up, folks, every last bit of it. But, you know what? That's the beauty. We have the power to create our own lives; we really are the Michelangelos of our individual worlds. I truly believe that "Little by little, all our sweet dreams come true..."

So, what has been created here? Why is this blog important to me and, hopefully, to you? For me it's because this is a place where thoughts on the road to publishing, spirituality, music, politics, humor and pictures of gorgeous animals (and I'm not just talking about my family) have a place to roam free. It's a diary of sorts.

Remember the crazy, old guy who told me I'd voted for Satan? (11/7/08)
Remember when Dusty went missing? (1/12, 13, 15/09)
Remember my crazy neighbor who went all Mike Tyson on us? (10/14/08)
Remember the not-too-bright ex-beauty queen who was running for the second most powerful job on the planet? (10/2/08)
Remember when I got my first "nibble?" (11/25/08)
Remember when my mom went through surgery and your love and support made all the difference in the world? (10/2/08)

(I've added the dates here in case anyone feels nostalgic and wants to re-experience these episodes. You can find them in the bottom, right-hand corner of the blog.)

Here are a few of my favorite pics from various entries:










This is the stuff of my blog journal. Looking back over the past 7 & 1/2 months, a lot has changed. My first entry (9/30/08) was right after I'd attended my first writer's conference in NYC. I'd finally jumped in and gotten my feet wet and what an eye-opener that was! The gals in my group like Wendy and Sarah were so talented and supportive. I was blown away to be in their presence. And my dear blogger friend, Amy, made me feel so at home in this new blogosphere world.

I'll be attending two more conferences this month, and I can't wait. First of all, I'll be meeting my new best friend for the first time (a writer I "met" through my blog - she doesn't have a blog, otherwise I'd link her - hugs to you, J...) and secondly, I know there will be new agents and writers I'll meet and all of our lives will be impacted - it's a beautiful thing.

Since my first entry, I've set aside the book I was pitching back then, written another, and am 2/3 of the way through yet another. I've never been happier. Thanks to each and every one of you for making this journey fun, enlightening, challenging and humorous. I love all of your comments - I am honored and amazed by you.

Before I get to the SGP, a reminder that all the NEW folks (between the last post and this coming Sunday night) are in the running for a $10 gift card, and a commenter from the last post has already been selected to win a $10 gift card. (All winners will be announced Monday morning and all gift cards are from Borders Books). A commenter from this post will win a $20 gift card and if you link to this post and let me know, you'll have another shot at both the $20 gift card and the SGP.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time to unveil the Secret Grand Prize....

By Sunday at 9PM EST, all who have commented on this post or the last (if you post on both, you get two shots at it) will be eligible for:

A $20 Gift Card from Borders PLUS
Your choice of one of the following two books (in perfect condition):

• The First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman
• Never Have Your Dog Stuffed by Alan Alda

AND.....

• You get to name a character in my current WIP, "Murder on Twilight Circle"!!!

If you win, you'll have the option of choosing a male (homicide detective) or female (nun) character to name. (And, for the record, if you choose the nun I'd prefer you stay away from names like Lolita, Candy, Tootsie, etc.!!!)

I wish the best of luck to each and every one of you, and from my heart to yours, Namaste. (I bow to you.)

99 & Counting... Party on, Excellent!

Believe it or not, this is my 99th post which means the next one will be my 100th! (I aced second grade math.)

In order to properly honor this auspicious occasion, I'll be giving stuff away. Not just any old stuff, but cool stuff. Stuff like Borders Gift Cards and books and a SECRET GRAND PRIZE (SGP) THAT IS SO COOL YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO STAND IT!!!!

"How do I win all this cool stuff?" you ask. Well, that's easy! Everyone who comments on THIS post will be eligible for a $10 Borders Gift Card and everyone who comments on my Centennial Post (which will magically appear on Friday) will be eligible for a $20 Borders Gift Card.

All commentators from this post AND/OR the next will be eligible to win the SGP!
(To be revealed on Friday and, yup, one person could feasibly win both gift cards AND the SGP!)

I'm hoping these enticing incentives will coax some of you lurky-loos out of Lurksville, Lurkytown, or Lurkland, or wherever the hell it is you live in order to say "Hello!" or "Wassup?" or "Your Mother Wears Army Boots!" or whatever the hell it is you lurky-types like to say.

Also, all NEW FOLLOWERS who come on board the Write on Target Party Train between now and this coming Sunday will be eligible for an additional $10 Borders Gift Card (and if you comment, the SGP!).

So, I hope you'll join the party and help me celebrate nearly eight months of fun and frolic. (I don't know about you, but I just LOVE to frolic!)

ALL WINNERS WILL BE ANNOUNCED BY 9PM-ISH EST ON SUNDAY, 5/17.

Party on Wayne, party on Garth!!!

Right Path

At the ripe old age of 34 I wrote a song called, "Sweet Life." It was an ode to my kids and my parents, and it was a look at time passing by:

"Sometimes I feel I'm getting old, that life was all 'back then,' Still I know I'm younger now then I ever will be again..."

This was a reminder to myself that as old as I sometimes feel, I am, in fact, younger then I ever will be in the future. This is a powerful and positive way to view aging. Unfortunatley, as the days on the calendar fall away, we grown-ups generally tend to feel less powerful and less positive about our time remaining. We lean more towards the philosphy in the lyrics of another well-known songwriter (though, admittedly not as famous as me), Roger Waters:

"And the sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older, Shorter of breath and one day closer to death..." (Pink Floyd, "Dark Side of the Moon" as if you didn't know!)

The ever-hammering tick, tick, tick, of time sometimes manifests inner doubts and questions. Do I have enough time? Will I accomplish my goals? Will I have enough money to retire? Will my dreams finally come true? Will I be able to afford to send my kids to college? Will I ever get my baby-blue, 2-door, convertible Mercedes? And, if you're a writer like me, "Will I find the perfect agent and get my book published before I'm 100?"

Time passing is both fascinating and mysterious. How we relate to time and to our lives in general changes as we age. When I was a kid, I thought forever was a long, beautiful, never-ending, lazy road. There was no anxiety over not having enough time; no limit to the dreams I could and would imagine. As an adult, I realize forever was my innocent child's interpretation of life, and that I'd better be in action if I want to see my dreams blossom fully and vibrantly.

What is it you still want to accomplish in life? Having a happy, healthy family? Being kind to all living things? Snuggling with your pets? (One of my favorite and most oft-reached goals!) Marrying (or staying married to) your best friend? Becoming a great cook? Learning a different language? Traveling to exotic places? Creating something timeless that is yours and yours alone? All of the above?

Chuck and I wrote a song called, "Beautiful Illusion." It's about being one with yourself; being truly at peace.

"The beautiful illusion is near, I hear the voices whisper in my ear, "You're on the right path, it's clear..."

Look at your life and tell yourself honestly - are you on the right path? Is it clear? Is it somewhat hazy? What action can you take to further your dreams or goals?

Take that action. Now.

Happy Birthday, Adam!

OK, look at us and tell me how is it possible that we have a 20-year-old son? I mean, if we're only 30-ish (give or take a decade), how can we have a son who's 20? It's not physically possible. And, yet, there it is.

Here's a pic of Chuck and I at a lovely little bistro last month in New Jersey. Now, honestly, if you didn't know how old this hot, young couple was, what would you guess? 30? 32? OK, 35 tops? (You know, I have super-powers and can hear you laughing all the way out here in the suburbs of Philly. So, you might want to knock it off.)

Twenty years ago at this very moment, I'd just received a gift from heaven - an epidural. Unfortunately, I still had four hours to go before the biggest blessing/pain in my ass would officially arrive on the planet. Adam Mitchell Schubert came barrelling into the world at 2:22PM MST on Monday, May 8th, 1989. All kidding aside, it was one of the two best days of my life (the other day was two years and eight months later when Ethan was born.)

I remember lying in the hospital bed and cradling my newborn in my arms. We stared at each other and had a truly out-of-body experience. It was a connection I'll never forget. As crazy as it seems, I believe we "bonded" at that very magical moment. And right after that, I had this thought: "Oh my God - someday this sweet, little baby will be a TEENAGER!!!! Help, doctor, put it back!!"

And, it's true. That sweet, little baby did become a teenager. Somehow, we both managed to make it through those (frightening) years, and now Adam is heading directly for adulthood. And that, my friends, is nothing short of crazy. Like Jerry said, what a long, strange (fun, amazing, incredible, frustrating, fascinating, mind blowing) trip it's been.

Here's what our tiny baby looks like now. He used to be a geek who wore only sweat pants and t-shirts. Now he's in college and is a super-cool drummer in a punk rock band called Combat Crisis. And, damn, he's kinda cute! At least we know where he gets his good looks (see pic of Chuckie-poo above) and talent from (see pic of moi above).

So, please join me in welcoming my little, baby Adam (or, Amo, as he called himself until he was two. "What's your name?" random stranger would ask. "Amo!" he'd reply. And I thought I'd taught him never to talk to strangers...) into his third decade of life.

Happy 20th, Adam, and many, many more!

All my love, Mom.;-)

Love is a Many Fickled Thing

When my new love entered my life only six, short months ago, I had no idea how quickly we'd bond, how fast we'd fall in love, and how beautiful our relationship would be. But, love can be a fickle thing.

Two nights ago a third wheel entered the picture and has blown my new love affair to pieces. Why? Because the love of my life has fallen for another. And, if that's not bad enough, I found out they're already married and are planning a big family. Babies? So soon? How do they even know the relationship will last?

Here's a picture of the new couple. Don't they look despicably happy together? (At least they've got good taste in which blogs they follow.) And here's what their babies will undoubtedly look like:











As if that's not bad enough, they wasted no time participating in a menage a trois, despite the fact that I suggested this on numerous occasions and was turned down every single time! (Yeah, that's Tiger Lilly, the little hussy. She sure looks ready for a cigarette!)

To clear my mind from this vicious triangle, I got a shot of Zoro taking command of the new HD TV box we got. Thank goodness he was here to wrestle that little bastard to the ground!

So, what do you think about love? Is it evil? Is it kind? Does it leave you wanting more? Less? Is there a place for such fickleness in your life? I'm feeling a bit disillusioned, but then, I'm a writer, so I'm used to rejection.

As Lily Tomlin so eloquently put it, "If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?"

(For those of you wondering why I now have two laptops, it's because Chuck got jealous of my torrid love affair with my HP until he came to his senses and realized he needed some of that hot action for himself. It truly was love at first sight between my sweet lover and his. We're convinced they'll get married, have lots of babies (or "mini's" as they call them), and live happily ever after. When (not if) those happy events occur, I'll be sure to let you know!)

One Darn Lovely Award!

I am, once again, totally verklempt at the amazingness of some of the bloggers out there in blogland. The ever-lovely Midlife Mama over at Midlife Musings has, for some out-of-body-type reason, deemed me worthy of the "One Lovely Blog Award." I know, what was she thinking? I've been called many things in my life, but never lovely. I do, however, hope my mom is reading this. (Hi, Mom!)

To you, MM, I thank you from the deepest depths of my soul. If I were pregnant, I'd name the baby after you, although naming a baby "Midlife Mama" might be considered wrong in some circles. (Who'd want to live in a place where you couldn't name your kids something funny, lame, or borderline cruel? Not me, that's for sure, and I think Gwyneth Paltrow and Frank Zappa would agree).

Of course, these undeniably fantabulous awards do not come without tremendous responsibilities, and I've always taken my responsibilities seriously. However, being an A-type personality (No! Really?), control freak, JAP, and one who doesn't just question authority, but wrestles it to the ground and strangles it slowly to death, I've "revised" the rules.

Here are "The (Evil) Rules" in their original format:

1) Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link.
That seems reasonable. Check!

2) Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you've newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.
WTF? 15? Who writes these "rules," anyway? Are you freakin' kidding me! Let's say we settle for ten. That's a much more manageable number, don't you think?

So, drum roll please! The 10 NEWLY DISCOVERED bloggers out there who IMHO have perfectly lovely blogs are:

• The simply sensational Jamie Mason at Because I Love to Hear Myself Type! If you don't fall instantly in love with her and her writing, you are a freak from the Planet Zeno.

• The ferociously funny Kiersten at Kiersten Writes! This girl can say, "Please pass the ketchup" and you'll be rolling on the floor laughing.

• The meticulously marvelous Michelle at The Innocent Flower! If you don't learn something from this wise, writing genius than you, my friend, are an idiot.

• The kutely kaptivating Kasie West! She's sweet, funny, and has an AMAZING new haircut.

• The sweetly splendid Sharla Scroggs at A Little Salty! Sharla's in the middle of a big kitchen renovation. What's not to love about that?

• The palpably precocious Paul Michael Murphy at Murphblog! Paul enjoys potty humor AND is really smart! Take a number, ladies!
  

• The jubilantly joyous Jenni James! Jenni is the happiest person alive. You think I'm kidding? Go check out her blog.

• The kreatively kompelling Kelly Polark! Kelly is a talented poet with beautiful hair who's afraid to ride a Harley.

• The ravishingly remarkable Rebecca at Provocation Of Mine (d)! Her annoying habit of "daily blogging" is making me look like a lazy slob. Oh, wait. I looked like a lazy slob long before I found Rebecca's blog...

• The immpressively introspective Indigo at Scream Quietly! She clawed her way out from the depths of hell, and is sharing her story with the world. May the Gods bless her.

In the interest of supporting minorities, I've once again included a token white, heterosexual male. Who knows, maybe they'll even be able to marry someday!

Please visit these well-deserving folks and tell them Debbie sentcha, you betcha! (She said winking and giving the "thumbs up!" sign.)

(Holy Toledo, Batman! My inner Sarah Palin comes out at the most inappropriate times. OMG! I've got an inner Sarah Palin!)

Life Rocks!

Another week has come and gone, and I thought, what a great opportunity to honor life's magnificence. It's not because anything particularly "wonderful" happened this week (unless you consider two new requests for partials wonderful, which, OK, I do); it's just because life - well it kind of rocks!

Each changing season, each new day, every "I love you" from your kid, partner, friend or family member, is cause for utter celebration. I don't know about you, but I tend to kinda sorta take these giganto miracles for granted. Not always - sometimes I'm actually present enough to "get" the wonder of life, but usually I'm so "in my head" about writing, or laundry, what I'm going to have for dinner, or if I'll get my daily fix of Starbuck's soy, chai-tea latte (no water) - you know, the important stuff - that I miss out on what is happening. Now.

Now, don't go getting all Bill O'Reilly on me. I know this stuff' IS important (especially my chai tea!), it's just that I tend to make it WAY more important than it needs to be.

So, to all my beautiful, blogging buds out there - I wish you a breathtakingly magical weekend. Notice the birds chirping, the flowers blooming, the smiles on your children's faces. Notice the purr of your kitties or the bark of your dog. Feel the rain on your face; the sun on your skin. Most of all, be present to the magnificence that is your life and to your greatest gift of all - the precious present.

(Funny side note - I lost a spelling bee in the 6th grade because of the word "precious." Well, not because of the word, per se, but because I didn't know how to spell it. I was pretty sure there was another "s" in there somewhere (prescious, perhaps?). I still have to look it up practically every time I write it (like now, for example.) It took me years to get past that. OK, I'm lying. I've never gotten over it. I'm permanently scarred. Talk about NOT being in the present!!!)

And, last, but certainly not least, after you leave me an adoring comment, do yourself a favor and hop on over to my dear friend Jenni's place. She's got a totally rad give-away going on; that is if you love antique books half as much as I do.;-)

Here's Jenni doing a Vanna White with a very old and special book. Doesn't she look purty?