SUBLIMINAL MONDAY: It's Party Time! [Writers are masochistics. Pass me a Valium]

Cue your favorite music - it's PARTY TIME! Why? Because I finished Draft #4, baby!!! [Nobody cares.] What a freaking relief that was! The key was definitely the simmering. I may not have a clue in the kitchen, but with my story, I can simmer like a rock star. ["May not have a clue in the kitchen" = understatement of the millennium.]

I will read through my finished novel once more out loud to my kitties and my muse, and then I'll send it off to Awesome Agent for her praise and compliments. [My name is Debbie, and I am delusional. I haven't had a delusion in, oh wait, never mind.]

Now that I'm done trudging through the Valley of Pain and Suffering, I can say this without hesitation: Writing is fun! I can't wait to do it again! It's easy; everyone should try it! [All writers are masochists. Pass me a Valium.]

Since Draft #4's in the history books, I no longer have to spend every spare moment banging my head trying to figure out how to bring the plot together or how to tie up loose ends. I'll read through once more with only the lightest of edits [see above SM re: delusions], and pass it along to AA for her shimmering stamp of approval. ["Hmm, pumpkin. It's good, but you're not quite there yet..."]

Then, we'll sell it for big bucks and I'll retire to a chalet in the south of France, or perhaps a mega-large beach-front cottage in Tahiti, or a penthouse suite in NYC's Upper West Side., or maybe Richard Branson will sell me his island in the Caribbean, (or at least time-share it with me). I'll become one of the "beautiful people" hobnobbing with the rich and famous, and will have to wear shades and a baseball cap just to get my mail. [That is SOOOO unrealistic! DUH!!! I'd HIRE someone to pick up my mail.] Anyway, you get the picture. I'll have it made in the shade, become a fat cat, be sitting pretty, or INSERT FAVORITE CLICHE HERE.

Back to the Land of Reality...

When I finished the fourth draft, I asked myself this deep, philosophical question: If you were a trust fund baby &/or won the lottery, would you continue to write? Surprisingly, the answer was, "Yes!" [Liar, liar pants on fire.] But not because of the usual writer BS of, "ohmygod, I couldn't live if I didn't write!" Hell, no! I'd live, and I'd be just fine. I might even have a tan, get rid of the fat ass I sit on every day TO WRITE, own clothing other than sweats, and try to get me some "class." [And right after that, I'd join the Tea Party and campaign for my girl, Sarah!]

And what would I do with all that "extra" time? Read, which would make me only slightly less boring than when I write. [Impossible.] So, what's the point? I may as well write, right? [Wrong. Pay close attention: NOBODY CARES.]

So, what about you? What would you do if you were a gazillionaire? Would you still write or would you do something more fun and less frustrating, like say, watching the grass grow? [And don't say you have to write or you'll die, because unless you're Stephen King (who I'LL BE MEETING IN PERSON THURSDAY NIGHT!!!), no one believes that crap.]

I've got VIP tix to see Stephen King and The Rock Bottom Remainders this Thursday, which means, I get to meet the band for an hour & a half before the show starts. My son, Adam, will be my date. Oh yeah, there will be a blog post!!!!!!!

Wild Ride in NYC!!!

OK, got the partials and full out over the last couple of days. Now, let me catch you up on my wild ride in NYC!

First up was BEA - Book Expo of America. Last Wednesday was the Writer's Digest Conference portion of the 5-day conference. The day started with a talk by Karin Slaughter, crime writer. My BEA buddy Judith and I decided she's the Ellen Degeneres of the publishing world. Every sentence out of her mouth was funny. Here's a pic of me, Karin, and Judith:

She told how she owned a signage company and decided to go for her real passion, writing. She was an overnight success ten years in the making. It took her that long to secure an agent, but once she did, she's been publishing books ever since.

After that, Judith, and I attended several workshops including How to Build Characters, an Ask the Agents Panel featuring the hilarious Janet Reid, Barbara Poelle, Ted Weinstein and Michelle Andelman, and finally a Polish Your Pitch Session, which geared you up for the big event... the PITCH SLAM! Pitch Slam is like Speed Dating for authors and agents. You've got three minutes to pitch your book (yup, they time you, although some agents didn't pay much attention, which was nice). The agent then either passes or asks for sample pages. I pitched to six agents and all six asked for pages - five partials ranging from 10 - 50 pages and a full. The first five I pitched to all asked for sample pages, and I almost quit while I was ahead. Thankfully, I didn't, because I LOVED the last agent and she's the one who asked for the full! Like I said, that day was right up there with the day I got married, the days my kids were born, and all the times I performed live with my band. It was that good.;-)

The next day, the Backspace Conference began with an Agent/Author day. I was in a room with 29 other writers. We stayed in our seats while different groups of agents rotated through. We were supposed to have had the opportunity to read our query and first two pages to at least two groups. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way, and instead we only got to read to one group each. I was lucky, because the group I read my first two pages to included the agent who'd asked me for my full the previous day. Thank goodness she liked my first two pages, or that may have ended her request for my full! A lot of writers were unhappy with the way the day went, mainly due to the inability to get much feedback. I'm sure Backspace will correct this in the future.

The next two days were filled with fabulous workshops. I attended a Buy this Book! session led by agent Jeff Kleinman, where we took on the roles of Marketing Manager, Editor, Publicity, etc. and got a real sense of how editors pitch our books to the publishing houses. It was fascinating. I learned that you need a platform for both non-fiction and fiction, it's important to secure book reviews by known authors, and that you've really got to have an enthusiastic editor pitching your book. Additional workshops included a panel on the Agent/Author Relationship where two agents with two of their clients talked about what that relationship is like, Query Letters that Work gave helpful tips such as personalizing your query, doing your research, putting title, genre and word count up front, etc. Some additional workshops I attended included What Literary Agents Want or Why It's So Hard to Find Representation, Getting Your Book Reviewed, and Yes, No, Maybe - When Agents Ask for Revisions. On Friday night, they had a cocktail party and famous thriller writers Lee Childs and David Morrell were in attendance. (David Morrell won a Backspace Award, and also participated in a panel on Saturday and was the closing keynote speaker.) The most important part of my Backspace experience was finally meeting my new BFF Julie from Columbus, Ohio in person! She's an extremely talented commercial fiction and YA writer. Here we are all dressed up for the party.

Overall, both conferences were extremely worthwhile. I'd highly recommend them to all serious writers with a completed ms in search of an agent. Just beware, your stomach will not thank you! Mine was in knots most of the time, but I figured that was simply proof that I was throwing my hat in the ring and playing full-out. After all, ain't that what life's about?

After the conferences, Chuck met me in NYC for an extended weekend. On Saturday night, we met up with my friend, Wendy and her wonderful husband, Vince for a scrumptious dinner at Beacon. I met Wendy last September when I attended my first writer's conference, The Algonkian Pitch and Shop in NYC. Since then, Wendy has gone on to find an agent. She's near the end of the revision stage, and is gearing up to send her women's fiction book out on submission. I wish her the best of luck! It was great seeing her and catching up.

The next day, we saw Wicked, which is absolutely NOT to be missed, and visited the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Annex (the "real" one is in Cleveland, OH) where there's a special exhibit on John Lennon produced by Yoko. Being the rock princess I am, I was completely in my element and could have moved in and lived there happily ever after. If you're in NYC, I insist you attend both of these shows. You'll be forever in my debt, and I love when people are forever in my debt. Also, one lane of Broadway is closed off to traffic for a few blocks until the end of the year, so people can walk around or pull up a lounge chair and sit on the famous street. That was quite a hoot! (You can see in the picture the cars and taxis on the left, and pedestrians on the right.)

Here are a few more pics. Enjoy, and thanks for not giving up on me while I was away from my post this past week or so. You guys rock!!!!!

NYC, Here I Come!!!!

I'm gearing up for two writers conferences next week. The first is the BEA - Book Expo America. The part I will be attending is the writers conference portion held on May 27th. There will be workshops all day and then what they call a Pitch Slam in the afternoon. The Pitch Slam is home to the largest gathering of agents in any one place for this type of event - 66 agents to be exact. How it works is you choose which agents you want to pitch to, get in his or her line, wait your turn, and pitch directly to them one-on-one. No pressure. I'm told there were writers in tears last year. Hopefully, yours truly will not fall into that category.

The rest of the conference goes from May 28th - 31st and is for booksellers, agents, editors, publishers, educators, librarians, and published authors from varying genres. Some of the more well-known authors include Nicolas Sparks, David Balducci, Meg Cabot, Jeanette Walls, Craig Ferguson, and Tracy Kidder. The part I'd most like to see, however, is the Keynote Speakers on May 28th. Steven Tyler of Aerosmith and Clarence Clemons, the Big Man from Springsteen's E-Street Band will "discuss their memoirs and provide behind-the-scenes and ultimate insider accounts of their lives on and off the big stage." That appeals greatly to my rock princess sensibilities.

However, I'll miss out on that tasty tidbit because I'll be in the second writers conference of the week - the Backspace Writers Conference. This conference is held from May 28-30. The first day of Backspace is the Agent-Author Day where more than 20 high-profile agents rotate between three conference rooms listening to the 100 attendees query letters and first two pages of their manuscripts (this is for writers with completed ms's only). They'll listen to the pages and stop you when they've "heard enough" or "lose interest" and give the ever-popular "constructive criticism." Again, no pressure. On Days 2 & 3, there will be workshops on topics ranging from "The Agent-Author Relationship" to "Writing the Fight Scene" to "Query Letters that Work."

I was also lucky enough to sign up for a one-on-one with Deborah Serra, a successful screenwriter who has written eleven TV movies, seven feature films, two one-hours, two pilots, and over twenty half-hours. Her work has been produced by CBS, NBC, Lifetime, Showtime and others. I've e-mailed her a chapter from my book, and when we meet she will critique the dialogue aspects of it with me. I'll also be attending a "Polish Your Pitch" workshop, which is in addition to the regular conference. I'm feeling verklempt by the amount of information and networking opportunities with both writers and agents I'll experience next week!

And, as I stated in my previous post, I've been recruited by the lovely Agent Kae Tienstra to be the "eyes and ears" at both conferences and report back to her on what I've learned. I'll be guest blogging over her way sometime the week of June 1st. Please feel free to hop on over and see what she and her husband Jon have going on. (I'd highly recommend querying them. They're a class act.)

I'll post before I leave on Tuesday for NYC, I'll try and post while I'm there, and I'll certainly give a run-down after I return (providing I haven't thrown myself off the George Washington Bridge in utter frustration and writerly defeat!).