Is it just me, or does this picture look suspiciously like a phallic symbol? It's amazing how starting a new book sets off the doubting Thomasinas in my mind. How do I do this? What makes me think I can do this? How can this book possibly be as good as the last? Will I ever get to 80,000 words? What the hell was I thinking????
For the most part, I'm an upbeat, confident, optimistic person. But every now and then, I feel like I did in high school... Does anybody like me? Am I popular? Will I succeed in life? Am I like a totally lame dweeb, dude? Will I have a date for Friday night? Where the hell did I leave my stash?
Part of my self-doubt has to do with the carnival query ride I'm on. I've had 6 p
artial requests, 3 full requests, and 14 passes on MURDER ON TWILIGHT CIRCLE, so every few days I'm either up or down on that fun-filled roller coaster ride. Plus, I'm completely impatient and a bit of a control freak (okay, a TOTAL control freak), and those traits don't bode well in the publishing biz, no they don't bode well at all.Judging from past experience, the further I get into the book, the more my confidence will rise. I just finished the third chapter, and am about 7,000 words in. Once I figure out how the victim got whacked and who did it, I'll be fine. I know who she is, I'm just not sure who'd want to kill her or why. I mean I have some ideas, but I'm not quite there yet. After all, she's a perfectly lovely lady, drop-dead gorgeous (bad pun, I know), plays tennis, watches her neighbor's kids, gets regular facials at the spa. What's not to like? Until
I figure out the mystery, be glad you're not my husband, kids, or kitties, because I'll be like a totally neurotic mess, dude!Of course, once the WORLD'S HOTTEST LITERARY AGENT who's meant to represent me finally stops playing hard to get and shows him/herself, then all will be well in my world.
That is, until I start the next book...
So, I'm sending out an SOS to the world. Is thi
s the same for any of you? Words of wisdom? Specific names of bridges to jump off of? Poison to drink? Chocolate to eat? New shoes to buy? Should I call The Police and ask their advice? I'm sure Sting could stop riding his horse on his huge-ass English estate for like five minutes to give me some words of wisdom. I mean, it wouldn't kill him or anything. (Why does everything in my life lately revolve around killing and murder?)Anyway, you get the picture. I NEED HELP!!!!
25 comments:
I have no advice. Nada! Been there. Done it. But still, no advice! All I have to offer is this: Good Luck! And if you find the answer, please pass it on to me. :) Now I have that song running through my head...sending out an SOS...
LW, I know, that song will be in my head for days to come, too. I promise to pass along "the answer" once I find it. I may have to don a long robe and go wandering aimlessly in the desert for forty days and forty nights. Perhaps then I'll find it...
I'm on the same roller coaster, but I must say I'm really impressed you have two full requests. You are in (just about) hang in there! I'm excited for you!
She had a rendezvous with a telemarketer who called the house selling life insurance. They carried on a sordid love affair and then his lover found out.....
Hope that helps!!! Sorry...my brain is toast.
Quit thinking. Keep writing.
Yeah, write more, think less....
T. Anne, From your lips to Buddah's ears! These days, it often takes way more than two full requests to hit the jackpot. See? Self doubt!
CCD, Perfect! That's exactly what I was looking for! THANKS!!!!!!;-)
MJ & Braja, Stop being so logical. I mean, really, what kind of help is that?
My doubts start to creep in about halfway through the first chapter. I've had some GREAT ideas and started off, then took a wrong turn somewhere and it was all downhill. I always worry about that wrong turn now. I think the key is to shove that internal editor aside and just write but that's easier said than done.
Elise, So glad you found me! I just popped over and I LOVE your blog! I'm a huge ballet fan. Hope to get to "know" you better.;-)
Stephanie, Yup, halfway through the first chapter is exactly when I start doubting myself... Now I'm into the fourth chapter and am starting to feel like there might be hope!
I got nuthin. You've seen my blog, clearly I'm not creative. LOL
Julie, Nice try. I've seen your blog and it's brilliant. Those self-doubts and insecurities are freaking everywhere!!!
Yeah, I feel your pain. I lost track of how many queries I have out there...I'm thinking in the 40's, and finally I heard back on my two fulls and multiple partials and they've all been no-thank-yous.
I've shelved it and dove so deep into my second book that now it's all I think about. I know one day I'll visit the first one again, but for now, this one's getting all my love. :)
Sharla, That's what you have to do - you have to keep on writing. I had six partials and one full out on my last book, but nothing panned out. I feel this book's so much stronger. Plus, it's a genre that should be easier to sell (cozy mystery vs. women's fiction). Timing, talent, and luck all play a part. The only thing I can control, is improving my craft and trying to get it in the right hands. If it's meant to be, it will be.;-)
I think you need a little Tantric yoga session with Sting, if you get my drift. ;)
Seriously, while I can't speak to the writing anxieties, we all have those little day-to-day anxieties that sap our strength. I accept that, and when they pop up in my mind, I just say "Shut the hell up" and move on. XO Beth
Beth, Tantric yoga w/Sting? Get out of my head, girlfriend!
don't we all...
yes it very phallic. amen i say!
Paul, We humans. What a bunch! Thanks for stopping by.;-)
I have never done what you are doing and have done in your life so to me, you are an inspiration. Without achieving anything else happening.
Just keep saying to yourself that all it takes is one acceptance, no matter if you have thousands of rejections. Life is a roller coaster no matter what. Just strap yourself in and the great thing is you never know what ride you are going to be on when you wake up each day. That's kind of exciting, no?? By the way your profile photo is hot Ms Debra!
Wow 2 full requests, yes I would be impatient too.
What about the time between finishing college and marriage, this perfect woman spent summer caught up with a drug smuggler? Has he tracked her down to claim something back?
Lilly, Your words always put a smile on my face. I wish we were neighbors and could hang out together. Glad you like the profile pic. I decided it was time to change it up a bit.;-)
Glynis, Love your idea! Perfect women rarely ever are...
Nice Post thanks!
neha kakkar age
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