I Have Nothing More to Say.... BWAHAHAHAH!!!! and A Certifiable Dream Come True

I was talking to my dear friend, Julie today. She was at work and I was at home doing my usual writing/editing/Twitter tinkering .

Julie: "Okay, don't say anything else interesting cause I have to get back to work."

Me: "Fine. I have nothing more to say."

We burst out laughing.

Me: "I think that may be the funniest thing I've ever said!"

Julie: "No doubt!"

And, hence, a new blog post was born...

Do you have friends like that - people you talk to when you don't think you have much to say, and the next thing you know, you've been talking for an hour? (Yes, guys, you do it, too. Admit it. It won't kill you.) Friends like these are treasures, which reminds me of a song I wrote years ago.

I'd moved to California from Colorado to pursue my musical dreams. I was feeling homesick and lonely, missing the ones I loved most in the world. My parents had sent me a diamond necklace for my 21st birthday. So, what's a lonely songwriter to do? I wrote a song. Here are a couple of verses:

DIAMONDS
I'm taking my mind to a simpler time
Trying to find the love that I left far behind me...
Running back home where the snow sometimes falls,
Finding shelter in the arms of it all

And I'm knowing our ties won't be severed with time
That's a wonder, I'll treasure it like a diamond...in my mind
You are my diamonds, I find
So hold me closer to you, closer all the time
Know I do love you Yes, I love you all the time...

It's a simple, age-old message: treasure those you love, especially family and friends, and make sure they know it.

IN OTHER NEWS...
I had a beautiful follow-up conversation on the phone today with an agent I greatly admire. She told me she loved my writing and thinks my dialogue is funny and snappy. To hear words like that from someone who knows what good writing is, is a certifiable dream come true. I've still got work to do, and I'm looking forward to doing that work.

Whether or not this agent and I are "meant to be" remains to be seen, but I do know one thing. Don't stop pursuing your dreams. (Cue Journey: Don't Stop Believin') There are many wonderful agents out there who care deeply about the art of writing and about nurturing careers. When each of us is ready, we will find that "perfect agent" - the one who "gets" our writing and is inspired enough to go to bat for it.

Until then, hang in there, my friends! Your day, and hopefully mine, will come. Get out your laptops or notebooks and keep practicing your craft. One thing I know for certain is that successful writers have one thing in common: They write. A lot.

HAPPY BLOGIVERSARY TO... ME!

I never thought this day would arrive, but here it is… MY BLOGIVERSARY! Go ahead, sing. I'll wait...

That was lovely, really. Who knew you had such a nice voice?

149 posts and 365 days later, here we are. Yes, ladies and gents, it’s been exactly one year since I first started this little blog 'o mine, and if truth be told, I’m feeling quite verklempt. I’m keeping a box of tissues on hand in case my tears spill over onto my laptop. I have so many people to thank for my award-winning blog, (see “Blog Bling” on the right hand side of page) but I think I'll choose just one:

I'd like to thank the one man who started me on my path to writing stardom. The first guy who really "got" my writing. His name is Mr. Douglas. Well, actually, that’s not his name. Truth is, I'm getting old and I honestly can’t remember his name. [Message from Tatiana, the Subliminal Message Goddess: It has nothing to do with her age. She's always been bad with names. She blames her dad.] Anyway, the man who I’ll call “Mr. Douglas” was my eighth grade teacher, and he was visionary enough to give me an A+ on a paper I titled, The Murder of Mr. T.J. Donahue. Seriously. A. +. [Tatiana: She remembers names of random middle school papers, but forgets names of people she knows well. Just sayin'.] The assignment was to incorporate 15 unrelated words into a paper. We could write about anything we wanted, which I thought was like majorly bitchin' cool dude. I, of course, chose a murder mystery. The only words on the list I couldn’t seem to weave into my brilliant essay were “biscuits” and “chestnuts.” So, you ask, how was the killer finally nabbed in The Murder of Mr. T.J. Donahue? Great question! Thanks for asking! [T: Is it just me? Or is she like nails on a chalkboard?] He was the guy who mumbled, “Shut up and eat your biscuits and chestnuts!” See why I got an A+? [T: Um. No we don't.]

Now, in order to demonstrate the mind-numbing changes that have occurred for me over this past, glorious year, the year in which I've penned two novels with two more on the way (not much easier than giving actual birth, by the way), I’ve decided to use visual aids. Like they say, a picture paints a thousand words. So here is a “before” and “after” shot.

The picture on the left is me a year ago - sad, unfulfilled, lacking in so many obvious ways. I mean, look at that fake smile. RIDICULOUS! And the picture on the right was taken yesterday - happy, self-confident, full of joy. See the arms crossed? Now, that's self-confidence!

Mind blowing difference, no? What? You don’t see much change? You like the picture on the left better?? You know, now that I look at them, I think you’re right. [T: She's so vain it's borderline insane. Hey! That rhymed!] There isn’t much difference. At least not on the surface...

You see, I’m convinced my DNA has undergone a major transformation over the past 365 days, particularly in the area of the publishing biz. I’ve taken it upon myself to learn as much as I can, and I think I’ve done a bang-up job. For example, I now know the difference between the terms, “Agent” and “God.” One is an omnipotent, breathtaking, transformative being and the other is “God.” (Thanks, folks. I’ll be appearing every Wednesday night at the “Sinner’s Lounge” in Hellfire, NB.) [T: She's not only vain, she thinks she's funny. What could be worse? I could tell a better joke with my one eye closed and my wings tied behind my back. Seriously. I could. I mean, if I had to. What are you waiting for? A joke? I don't feel like telling one now. But if I did, it would be like WAY funnier than hers. Pinky swear.]

I promised a certain someone cake and balloons. The cake's above and here are the balloons. Grab your favorite color and dig in to the chocolate. Hell, take two pieces. Three, even! Make a holy freaking pig of yourself. Remember what mama said: virtual calories don't count!!

[T: Here's where she gets all sappy. You may want to click out now. Don't say I didn't warn you...] The way I see it, the success of this blog is not due to the silly words I string together in my posts. It’s due to the amazing comments in the “Comments” section. For me, that’s where the magic of this blog was, is, and always will be. If you want to leave a comment as to your favorite memory or what you like most about my humble little abode here on the world wide web, feel free. There's no pressure. I mean you don't have to or anything. It would just put a Texas-sized smile on my face and like totally make my day. (I was raised Jewish and I married a Catholic. I've got the guilt thing covered.) [T: She's also got the annoying thing covered.]

So, to each and every person who has read my blog and/or posted comments over this past year, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. As Margaret and Helen – the 80-Something Blog Goddesses who I dream of writing like - say, “I mean it. Really.”

May beauty, joy, health, laughter, and happiness guide you on your journey. Namaste.

[T: She thinks she's all Zen and stuff.] Tatiana, you know what? [T: What?] I CAN HEAR YOU!!! [T: You can? Oh. Right. PSYCHE!!!]

Writers Have Big..... HEARTS!

First of all, I'd like to thank Kristina Riggle for her wonderful interview. Kris - You're an inspiration to writers everywhere. Your time and thoughtful answers are greatly appreciated. The ripple effect of your inspired words will manifest over time. There is no way to measure the gratitude or count the creative ideas you've sparked in the minds of others. I thank you and wish you the greatest success with Real Life & Liars and all your upcoming works.

Kristina is the perfect example of what I've realized lately: writers have big hearts. We are dedicated and devoted not only to our own writing, but to each others' work as well. In other words, we are our own biggest cheerleaders. (If only we could look this good!!)

And, it doesn't matter where we are along our path. Whether you're a newbie just dipping your toes in the tepid writing waters, or a big-time best-selling author, we all have something in common - our love for the written word and for the simple wonder of telling a story.

There are many writers I've encountered lately who have been helpful to me along my journey. They are unselfish folks who possess generous, creative, beautiful souls. I am honored and humbled to have crossed their paths. Some I will be interviewing over the next few months, some I've had great "conversations" with via Twitter and/or e-mail, and all have left a deep impression upon my heart. They've made a difference in my relationship to my writing, and there is no way to properly thank someone for that kind of unselfish devotion.

The desire to elevate our own ideas and hone our own craft is one thing. It's natural to want to improve, expand and become the best writers we can be. But, to take the time to support others along the way is a tremendous gift. The desire to elevate those around you is what makes the journey of life so much more meaningful. Knowing there are kindred spirits willing to give of their time and experience is, for me, part of what makes the writing journey so fulfilling.

Of course, writers aren't the only people willing to contribute. I've come across many agents who are funny, helpful, and more than willing to give of their time and expertise to help writers along their way. My gratitude to them can not be measured.

Sometimes it's easy to get lost in the woes of the economy and how it's effecting the industry, but staying focused on our work is what matters. As writers, it is all we have and all we will ever have. The ability to pour our hearts and souls on to the written page and move others to tears, laughter, bliss, rapture, fear, reflection, and all manner of human emotion, is thrilling, transformative, a privilege, and a joy.

So, here's a toast: To writers everywhere, no matter where you are along your path, may you be filled with inspiration, passion, and the desire to write to your heart's content. And to the agents who help make our dreams come true. Cheers!

Tweet! Tweet!

I know some of you are still lagging in the discovery of Twitter's awesomeness. That's okay. I'll let it go a while longer. After all, I was once in your shoes; sad, lonely, bitter, perhaps a bit arrogant, and certainly far too busy to be bothered by such trivial nonsense as what Joey Smith of Bumblersville, AK had for breakfast this morning. Who the hell cares what Joey ate? I sure don't.

Plus, what's all that nonsense with the "@" and "#" signs? Way too confusing. Better to get back to your freshly baked, hot-out-of-the-oven chocolate chip cookies and watch Oprah.

But, wait! Don't give up so fast! Twitter is so much more than random ampersand and number signs and what Joey's having for breakfast. It's more. It's oh, so much more! And you can still eat all the cookies you want. Remember, you're on the internet - no one can see you! (Well, except for the aliens, but that's a whole 'nother story...)

Want to connect with other writers? Want to get great tips from agents? Want to participate in chats regarding the publishing biz? Then get your lazy bum over to Twitterville and start tweeting! It's fun, easy, enlightening, surprising, and ever-changing. Go on. Dive in. The water's a perfect 85 degrees.

Just don't tell me what you ate for breakfast.

Embrace Action, Release Results

I've been on a wild querying streak lately for my last novel MURDER ON TWILIGHT CIRCLE (MTC). I've done tons of research and am being very particular about the agents I query. This takes time and focus, but as strange as this may sound, I love the querying process. I like writing query letters, and the process is akin to courting your future partner, which can be both frustrating and exhilarating.

The key, I've found, is to Embrace Action and Release Results. In other words, be as proactive as possible in your search for an agent, but once you hit the "send" button, let go of the result. Of course, this is easier said than done, but it's a good game plan. And, when you're determined to be published, you must have a game plan!

Here's how I've broken it down:

1) EMBRACE ACTION - Write the best freaking book you can!!!

a) Take your time. It's not a race. Slow down and concentrate on the story at hand.

b) Have word count goals and a completion date goal. Some of you may remember a prior post I did on the Daily 1,000. For me, that's a daily word count goal that is achievable. If I go over, great! But, I do my darndest to get at least those 1,000 words a day in.

2) Have one or two people read your first draft.

Find one or two people you trust to give you the good new and the bad news of your first draft. For MTC, I had two people read my first draft - a beta reader (kudos to Julie!) and my faithful alpha reader (love you, hon). The crits I got at that point were PRICELESS and had me revise in ways I wouldn't have thought of on my own. I know some of you think you'd rather have hot needles stuck in your eyes than have someone read your first draft, but trust me - this can be the smartest thing you do. I highly encourage it!!!

3) Edit the book OVER AND OVER AND OVER again!

Seriously, edit and revise until the point you can practically recite the pages by heart. I read straight through for the first revision, and then over and over until I feel the whole story flows and is 'complete.' You may want to review a chapter until you've got it right, or keep reading from beginning to end, or maybe a little of both. How you choose to do this is up to you! Just, make sure you do it until there's nothing of any major importance left to change.

Remember - you're a writer. Therefore, there will ALWAYS be wordsmithing to do no matter how many times you read through your ms. But, you need to get to a point where you know that changing this word or that sentence may be a good idea, but it's really not necessary. You have to know when you are done.

4) Have beta readers read your 'finished' project and give you feedback. Take what they say graciously, but with a grain of salt. Only make those final changes that completely ring true for you.

Then, and only then...

5) Start the querying process!

a) Write your query. Polish it until you feel it's sleek, to the point, and interesting enough to spark an agent's interest. Remember, the idea here is NOT to hit on all the characters and all the plot points, but to give an overall feeling of your work. ALWAYS INCLUDE: Title, Word Count, Genre, and Contact Information!

b) Research agents thoroughly. The tools I use are: Querytracker, Agent Query, and Publisher's Marketplace. You should also check out the agent's website to learn about the agency and the indivdual agent's backgrounds and genre preferences. Absolute Write is another great tool to see what other writers have said about various agents. There are other useful sources, but these are the ones I tend to use. If you've got questions on any of these, please feel free to leave it in the 'comments' or to e-mail me at dlschubert@verizon.net.

c) Make the queries personal where you can. If you've met an agent or heard an agent speak at a conference, be sure to mention it. If you adore a book they've repped, mention it. Those types of things help get their attention and create a personal connection. As scary as agents may seem, they're human! We all like to feel connected. Here's a great article from today by Agent Jessica Sinsheimer that addresses this very subject.

d) Be prompt, courteous, and professional when responding to partial or full requests from agents. Make sure to give them exactly what they request in the format they request it.

6) RELEASE RESULTS! Congratulations! You've done what you can do. You've written a great book, gotten as much feedback as you can, researched agents, and sent out queries. Now, trust the universe to do its job, and get to work on your next project.

As written in my header, "Little By Little All Your Sweet Dreams Come True."

Here's to all of our sweet dreams coming true.

Namaste - I bow to you.;-)

Securing an Agent is Child's Play...NOT!

Great news for us mystery/thriller/suspense writers over at the wonderful blog, Pimp My Novel.

I have many wonderful attributes (must you look so confused?), but the big ones I'm missing are PATIENCE and NOT BEING IN CONTROL. I blame both of these glaring defects on my Brooklyn-born DNA. Tests show it's physically impossible to be born in Brooklyn and be a patient person who doesn't care about being in control. Freaks like that simply don't exist. Or they do, but they're immediately banned to Staten Island.

So, what do I do? I choose a career path that is wholly based on patience and my having absolutely no control over anything. Pure genius.

I'm finding the whole "getting an agent" game to be eerily similar to what my mom used to tell me in college, I mean, middle school. "Chase the boys until they catch you!" I'm doing the chasing now in hopes that some brilliant, talented, visionary agent will catch me! My mom also said once they "catch" you, you need to play "hard to get." Really? What should I say when I get that call?

Hi, Dream Agent. Why don't you have your girl call my girl?

or...

Leave it after the beep. I'm lunching with my therapist.

or...

I'll think about it and get back to you during the next Perseid Meteor Shower.

or...

Tag! You're it! Then hang up the phone.

Also, there are like a gazillion more writers than agents, so securing said visionary agent is like playing a gigantic game of Musical Chairs. Every time the music stops, which is pretty much continuously, some poor sod of a writer gets kicked out of the game. And, I've been told, agents giggle. Some even clap. Harsh, wouldn't you say?

So, here I wait. Patiently. Having no control whatsoever over the situation, other than writing and querying and silently selling my soul to the publishing gods for a buck forty nine.

Of course, my beloved blog and Twitter make the days go by faster and keep my mind off the cruel game these dastardly agents play. But, really, how much peeking in on Ashton Kutcher or tweeting about my angst and desires can a girl do in one day before she gets bored out of her mind and wants to hang herself from the nearest DSW shoe store? (I mean, if you're going to go, you may as well go in a new pair of Manolos, right?)

And, I'm working on my new WIP, MURDER ON SONGBIRD LANE and having more fun than a gal alone in her bedroom with six cats should have. But still...

What about you? How do you bide your time while waiting for THE CALL? Or, for those of you who've received THE CALL and are waiting to hear about your submissions, how do you distract your overactive minds???

Rewriting: Ain't it a Blast?

Ah, rewriting. Ain't it a blast? I'm not talking revisions here, I'm talking rewriting as in writing something from nothing. Kind of like a first draft only different. Since I've already written the whole brilliant masterpiece, it's not like I don't know the outcome. HOWEVER, I'm writing AS IF I don't know what's coming.

(If you're confused, you might compare this to when you and your honey dress up in a nurse and doctor's outfit. You've got a fairly good idea where you're headed, so to speak, but you may not be exactly sure how you'll get there. And that's more than half the fun. Do you get it now? Yeah, I thought you might.)

Anyhoo, I've had four requests for partials and was advised there's "too much back story." (Can you believe that? Sheesh. Some people's kids.) Since I've already chopped a good deal of my first three chapters out, I figured I'd try a new and, dare I say, revolutionary approach. I wiped the first three chapters off the map and started anew. Blank page, new Microsoft Word document, fresh as daisies clean. I wasn't entirely sure where the first three chaps would take me, but I was willing to throw my writing boots back on and walk down that illusive road to find out.

Remember my last post on Michelangelo and how he carved David? This is a quiz class, please pay attention. You'll be graded accordingly. Time's up! Hand in your papers. Hmmm. Wow, I'm impressed! You all get "A's." Except for you, Jason. You clearly weren't paying attention. I'm so disappointed. You're going to have to stay after class today. I've got a certain doctor's outfit I was hoping you'd try on... Where was I? Oh, yes. To recap: Mikey said carving David was easy because he simply got rid of everything that wasn't David. That Michelangelo - what a kidder! Following in Mikey's illustrious footsteps, I set out to dismiss everything that isn't Sparks Fly Sometimes, and I'm praying to Buddha, Allah, and Jesus, et al that I got it right this time.

This insane-yet-earth-shattering rewriting idea was spurred on by words of wisdom from a formidable and very hip agent, as well as a kickass-soon-to-be-agented writer hailing from the great state of Ohio. (As in, "four dead in...") Of course, I didn't rewrite entirely from scratch, since I knew how the story ends, middles, and sort of begins. However, I was writing from a different vantage point, eliminating pesky minor characters, and developing the divas and rock stars with the style, flair and elan they deserve.

The good news is, I did it! I'm done! And...I love it! Eureka! The view from the top of Mt. Everest is pretty damn gorgeous, although it's as cold as Sarah Palin in an ice storm in the middle of the Russian tundra (which , by the way, she can see from her house.)

I'll be sending these new and improved sample pages out to yet another (crazy? desperate? BRILLIANT!) agent who has requested my partial submission. We'll soon see if all my hard work pays off.

Wish me luck! ;-)

Shine Like a Million Stars!

There's an interesting back-and-forth going on over at Jessica Faust's site regarding what an agent's job "is" and what we, as writers, "should" write. I'm dumbfounded (which is different than just plain "dumb" which I arguably am as well) when I hear writers being overly interested in what's "hot" and what "holes" there are in the publishing industry that need filling. Are you kidding me? So far as I can tell, there is only one WIP that any of us should be writing and that is the story we're meant to tell.

It's simple, really. Write what's in your heart to be spoken. That's all you can and "should" do. A country songwriter doesn't write a hip-song because it's "hot," he writes country songs because that's what he knows and loves. A painter doesn't create a painting because it's "hot." She paints what's in her heart and soul to paint. Hot, cold, or medium, makes no freaking difference.

Writing is the same. It's an art. Absolutely. Plain and simple. Beautiful and breathtaking. So, write what's in your heart and soul begging to be released. Worrying about what an agent or editor might want is like fretting over how many raindrops will fall in the next storm. It's futile. First of all, most agents don't even know what they want, but like porn, they'll know it when they see it.

So relax, all my writerly friends. Trust in yourselves and in your spirit to take you precisely where you need to go and to write the story that is yours to write. No one else can write that particular story like you can. That is the deep beauty of being an artist. No one can exactly recreate your art. It is the one spark of light that is truly your own. Let it shine like a million stars!

In Other News...
I met my first "blog" friend in person this weekend! My husband and I were graced with meeting Vegas Linda Lou and her lovely sister, Lori, as they made their way through the great state of Pennsylvania. What a blast it was, and what a treat to meet one of my "esteemed colleagues." It was wonderful, fun, thrilling, and memorable. I highly recommend it!