Reinvention

Life is an ongoing process of reinvention. Certain artists, like Madonna, manifest this more transparently than others. Throughout my life, I've tried to keep things fresh and interesting. Part of the process of reinvention involves my physical look (changing hair styles, clothing, make-up, etc) and part of it involves my art.

Writing new books and songs are ways in which I artistically reinvent myself, and another fun and creative way is through my blog. 

I started this blog four years ago after attending my first writer's conference in NYC. At the conference, I received savvy advice from a few writers I met there (shout out to Sarah and Wendy!), and when I returned home, I dove headfirst into the blogosphere. Even though I posted far more often then (2-3 x/wk) than I do now (2-3 x/mo), I still love my blog. 

I decided early on that my blog would be an expression, not only of my writing life, but of my entire life. Along with funny and political posts, I've written some pretty personal stuff. My hope is that, by sharing deeply personal things, others have been inspired along their paths. 

Over the years, I've changed the overall look of my blog several times. Once again, I felt it was time. These days, there are many choices on how your blog looks. In blogger, backgrounds, fonts, layouts, colors, and gadgets are ways to transform the look of your blog. I took a lot of time and tried out many different things before deciding on this particular look. I also, got rid of a lot of "stuff" (gadgets) on my sidebar.

I'm curious to know what you do to reinvent yourself? Do you take up a new sport? Try something you've never tried before? Travel? Read? Do something creative? Listen to new music? I'd love to know. (I'd also love to know what you think about my new blog "do"!)

Inspiring Images

Being a musician, I can't listen to music while I write. For me, it's not inspiring, it's distracting. I get utterly lost in the music and can't concentrate on writing. However, images inspire my writing.

Here are a few pictures that have inspired me lately. I hope they bring a smile to your face, joy to your heart, and inspiration to your soul.

Maybe one will even spark a story.

 

 

Darling Buds of Spring

Leanne Mahanke, Photographer

I took this one.

It's "That Time" Again & Awesome Flash Fiction Contest!

It's that time again. The time that comes around every four years. The time where huge distinctions are drawn and friendships and family ties are tested. The time when political ads rule the airwaves and bumper stickers declare our allegiances. The time when we look deeply at who we are and determine what values define us.

I believe this election provides the clearest choice in modern history. The candidates are distinctly different not only in their race, religion, and backgrounds, but - and this is far more important - in their vision for America.

I love politics, but I have to say, I'm a little disappointed this election cycle. Sarah "Moosehead" Palin was far more entertaining than Paul "Blue Eyes/Black Heart" Ryan (or as my fiance calls him. "Captain A-Hole.") Truth be told, I had so much fun during the last election. Of course, I can't take all the credit, after all, Sarah made it SO easy. (I'm a maverick! You betcha!)

This time, however, it's not nearly as funny. In fact, it's downright serious and some might argue, frightening. That's because this time we've got two candidates whose values, visions, ideals, beliefs, backgrounds, and ideas for the future couldn't be more distinct.

Here are a few of the basics: (Links included so you don't think I'm making this stuff up.)

Obama/Biden:

FOR Gay Marriage

FOR Equal Pay for Women (First law signed into law by Obama)

FOR A Woman's Right to Choose

FOR Affordable Health Care Act

FOR Bringing our troops home from Afghanistan by 2014

FOR Alternative Energy Sources

FOR Finding routes towards citizenship for immigrants

Romney/Ryan: 

AGAINST Gay Marriage

AGAINST A Woman's Right to Choose (The Republican platform states, even in cases of rape and incest)

AGAINST The Affordable Health Care Act (Romney says it's one of the first things he'll overturn)

FOR Big Oil Companies and Drilling

FOR Keeping God in the Republican platform

FOR Tax cuts for the wealthiest

FOR Self Deportation of illegal immigrants

Of course, this is just a brief overview, but the choice is chillingly clear. We will either have...

• An America that believes in equality for all, or equality for some. 
•  An America that is guided by personal religious beliefs, or by what is best for all Americans regardless of religious (or non-religious) beliefs. 
•  An America where men are valued more than women, or one where women are equal to men. 
•  An America where gays are denied the right to marry, or one where they are granted the same rights as straight people. 
•  An America where women can choose what is best for themselves and their families, or one where the government makes those choices.
•  An America where healthcare is withheld from millions of people, or offered to all. 
•  An America where those on welfare are considered "bleeders," or simply people who need help when they fall.

And if the big issue for you is fiscal, then remember this: America has created more jobs and done better fiscally EVERY SINGLE TIME A DEMOCRAT HAS BEEN IN OFFICE. Trickle down economics doesn't work. Or, let me rephrase. Trickle down economics doesn't work for anyone who isn't fabulously wealthy. Although the GOP wants us all to believe the myth that the Republicans are better at all things fiscal, it's simply not true. And, assuming you're not a bigoted, right-wing zealot, I imagine you agree the GOP's conservative viewpoints on social issues are anything but inclusive, practical, or kind. Therefore, if they are not better fiscally OR socially, why on Earth would you vote for the backwards values of the GOP? 

In case you missed the conventions and haven't been following Mitt and Ann's story, here they are talking about how they struggled. Mitt actually had to sell some of his stocks when they were in college in order to pay the bills. (I know, hold back the tears.) I, for one, can't imagine how difficult that must have been. 

So, what are your thoughts on politics, my friends? I'd love to hear them. 

Also, I have a question for my fellow writers: Are you of the mind that you should keep your mouth shut on politics and religion because you may alienate readers, or do you feel life is short and nothing should hold you back from speaking your mind? 

(Obviously, you know how I feel, but please don't let that stop you from stating your point of view.)

Also, writers, don't miss this AWESOME FLASH FICTION CONTEST going on right now over at my friend Suzy's blog with an opportunity to have your query or first ten pages reviewed by agent Anne Bohner of Pen and Ink Literary or editor Vicki Lame of St. Martin's Press. But, hurry! The deadline is midnight EST on Saturday, September 15th.

The True Meaning of "Success"

The first inkling of an idea for my YA novel came to me nearly three years ago. Although, the title was all I had, those three, little words wouldn't leave me alone and, before long, a vague idea for a story began to blossom.

At the time, I was in conversation with a wonderful agent. She was entertained by my tweets, and loved two different novels of mine. She just didn't think either book was "the one." I told her I had another idea that was banging around in my brain, though it wasn't fully fleshed out. She asked about it, and I explained it as best I could. She loved the premise, and told me to let her know the minute I had the first draft complete.

The rest, as they say, is history. Or, is it?

I did sign with her, but things didn't work out. (She's awesome and I have nothing but good things to say about her.) Afterwards, I received an offer to publish my YA novel with a well known vanity press, but decided that wasn't the way to go. 

In the meantime, I wrote a women's fiction novel and sent it to Portland for a full edit by the brilliant editor and former agent, Gretchen Stelter. I planned to dig into it as soon as I got her notes back, but instead, my YA novel had, once again, taken hold of my brain. 

After seeing the enthusiasm of some of my talented writer friends who have recently self-published, I thought perhaps that was the way to go for my YA project. I'd received suggestions for a grueling, but brilliant revision from an agent I genuinely admire, so I knew before I self-published, I had more work to do. Nearing the end of the long yet inspiring revision, I decided to email the agent who'd made the suggestions in the first place to see if she'd want to take another look. 

"Of course, I would!" she said.

It occurred to me, then and there, that I should try the traditional route once more, and that's where I am right now; sending my YA novel back out into the world in much, much better shape.

One of the greatest challenges we writers face is deciding when our novel is "done" and ready to query. As any writer worth their weight knows, the novel is not done when you write, "The End." Far from it. In fact, that's when the real work begins. The problem is, we often think our novels are query-ready long before they are. 

Fortunately, if you're focused, passionate, and determined and don't give up on yourself or your work, your writing will improve. And, whether you choose the traditional publishing route or self-publishing (or both), working hard and honing your skills will indeed make you a better writer. 

And being a better writer, in my book, is the true meaning of success.

A Night to Remember

The first kiss of engaged life.

Nothing special happened in Denver. Unless, of course, you count getting engaged in front of my whole family and thousands of strangers on the field at Coors Field seconds before the fireworks started "something special." ;-))))))))))))

(Video was taken moments after my honey popped the question.)

My family at the game before the event. I was clueless about what was about to happen.

The ring!

Denver Bound

Beautiful view of Denver taken from the East looking west.

Leaving for a week with the family in the fire-filled state of Colorado. Please keep positive thoughts alive for the fires to die down and for everyone to be safe.

And, best wishes to all for a happy, healthy, Fourth of July holiday!

This picture was taken yesterday, 6.27.12, near Colorado Springs, CO

Larimer Square in Downtown Denver - 4th of July Celebration

You're Ruining My Life!

When I called my mom tonight, instead of her usual cheerful greeting, she said, "You're ruining my life!"

Surprisingly, I'd never heard her say those words before, although I'd supplied numerous opportunities. Like when I was six and hid my best friend in my room after our parents said we couldn't have a sleepover. Within an hour, police lights lit up the streets like a Christmas tree. Or when I was seventeen and declined my mom's invitation to join her and my sisters on a sightseeing excursion while on a cross-country trip. Instead, I climbed into the back seat of a strange car filled with strange guys and rocked out to Led Zeppelin, which is where my mom found me when she returned. I could go on, but I imagine you get the picture.

"Really? I've ruined your life?" I asked, wishing I'd had a glass of wine or three before I'd called.

"Yes," she said, pausing for effect. "I can't put your book down. I absolutely love it and can't wait to see what's going to happen next. It's ruining my life because I'm exhausted and need to take a nap." The cause of my drama-queen-ness is revealed: It's hereditary! 

"I'm glad to hear this, especially since you hated the beginning." I knew hate was a strong word, but it was drama-queen delicious.

"You're right. I hated it. But, it got better after that." Okay, so maybe hate wasn't such a strong word after all. By the way, she's currently reading my latest women's fiction book-the one that took me a year to write and contains the most cathartic words I've ever penned. The story that made me cry a thousand tears, eat a million chocolate-filled calories, and wander five hundred miles from my home. Lord, I'm one, Lord I'm two, Lord I'm three, Lord I'm four, Lord I'm five hundred miles from my home...

"Glad you like it, Mom. And, sorry. I didn't mean to ruin your life. I hope you'll forgive me."

"I already have. You are such a gifted writer." Another pause. "I'm so proud of you."

Tears filled my eyes, which was dangerous given I was driving.

Fame, fortune, and literary recognition are all well and good. But, you know what? For me, hearing a comment like this from one of the people I love most in this world is the ultimate definition of success. 

What about you? What's your definition of success?

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger or GO MY LIFE!

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
I didn't believe that for a long time, but now I know it's true. After two years of riding a brutal and unpredictable emotional roller coaster, I can finally say, "I'm happy, free, and stronger than ever." HIP HIP HOORAY! Or as my sister, Laurie, would say, "Go My Life!"

Me (left) w/my sister, Laurie, Cabo, Oct. '10

LIFE IS GOOD
Life is once again beautiful, fun, exciting, and filled with great possibilities. I'm currently:

• Pursuing my music. (Again!)
• Taking yoga classes. (*OM*)
• Going back to school for Criminal Justice. (Look out, bad guys!)
• In a healthy and happy relationship. (Thanks, honey!)
• Taking piano lessons. (Learning how to read music - YIKES!)
• Doing a Communications Course through Landmark Education. (Transformational work is good for the heart, mind, and soul.)
• Finishing edits on my latest book!!! (Can't wait to query again!)

My last "live" performance, Oct. '09

Me & Bobby, April '12

My "new" piano!

TOUGH TIMES?
My advice to anyone going through a difficult time: 

 Me w/some people who love me: Mom, sisters Michelle, Sharon, Laurie, & Dad.

• DON'T GIVE UP on yourself or on life. (Don't let the bastards get you down!)
• LEAN ON PEOPLE who love you. (It makes them feel better, too!)
• LOVE YOURSELF & YOUR LIFE. (There are brighter days ahead!)
• When you're going through hell, KEEP GOING. (per Winston Churchill)
• HANG IN THERE long enough to get past the pain. (You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel.) 
• You will GET THROUGH IT. (And life will be better than ever!) 

RIDE THE WAVES OF LIFE WITH GRACE
We all experience pain, suffering, loss, anger, jealousy, sadness, and grief. Maintain your dignity and live life with grace. Remember, you are beautiful, precious, loved, and deserve the best life has to offer. If you believe in yourself and follow your heart, you will not be disappointed.

LIFE CAN AND WILL GET BETTER! (I swear, it's true!)

Dear Teen Me...

Go here and read and comment! http://dearteenme.com/2012/04/25/dear-teen-me-from-author-debra-lynn-lazar-the-secret-keeper/

Hidden in Plain Sight

Sometimes what (or in this case, who) you're looking for is hidden in plain sight.

Most of you know I am a writer, but you may not know I also have a small interior design business. As an interior designer, I have a theory: often times you have what you need. It might be a lamp, a small table, a vase, or a chair, but whatever it is, you often already possess it. Look around. You might not see it at first, because it's being used in another capacity or in a room with different decor. However, many times, what you need is already there. All it takes to find it is your imagination and the ability to see things in a new light.

This is what I've done, except not with a lamp or a vase or a chair. It's what I've done with my life partner. 

As some of you know, I was in a relationship with SG (Special Guy) who I met less than six weeks after my ex left. When we met, I was an emotional disaster. SG was wonderful and made me feel special. He held me as I cried rivers of tears and told me everything would be alright. "These things take time," he said. He knew from experience. He'd been through it himself. His kind words and gentle touches helped heal a small part of the painful hole in my heart. 

But, two months ago, I broke up with SG. I realized I needed to be on my own, date other guys, and spread my wings. I'd never lived alone and never dated much, since my ex and I got together when we were both very young. I joined Match.com and dated. A lot. I went on 15 dates in six weeks and enjoyed every one of them.

One night I was out on a date with a nice, Jewish doctor from New York. Between a bite of spicy tuna roll and a sip of hot sake, it hit me: I already had what (who) I was searching for. In an instant, everything seemed clear. I could barely wait to end the (quite lovely) date I was on and speak to my ex-boyfriend. I hoped he missed me, would forgive me for leaving, and would take me back.

I'd posted on my Match.com profile that, "I'll know you're the one when you hold me in your arms and I feel like I'm home."

My ex-boyfriend came over that night and we held each other tight. I sunk into his arms and knew I was home.

This two year journey from when my ex-husband left until now has been the most challenging and enlightening time of my life. My boyfriend (yes, we are back together again, and this time for good!), kids, parents, sisters, and a few, close friends lifted me up, dusted me off, and time after time, pointed me in the right direction. Also, many of you wrote inspiring words of encouragement on my blog or Twitter, and for that I will always be grateful.

So, what or who in your life are you "missing?" What or who is hidden in plain sight? Look around. You may be surprised.