SUBLIMINAL MONDAY: Revelations

Is it just me, or are SUBLIMINAL MONDAYS arriving at warped speed these days? I'm fairly certain someone has messed with the fragile space/time continuum, and I'm not pleased. The reason this angers me is because, although it may not look like it, these posts do not write themselves. [In fact, small elves from Greenland write them, but I'll save that for another time.]

So, my friends, guess what? I'm back to work on a new story. [Sheesh, does this writing crap never end?] Awesome Agent is currently reading Draft #3, and I'm going crazy not editing. Therefore, TADA! new book to the rescue.

As I was writing this week, I had a mind-bending revelation: There may not be "magic" in this wip, and I mean that literally. I would've bet money that the follow-up to my first YA novel would also have a magical element, but guess what? I would've been wrong. [I'm sorry, are you snoring? RUDE!] So, what is my new book about you ask? It's about teenagers without special powers, other than their usual bitchiness, know-it-all-ness, laziness, sex-craziness, etc. that teens excel at. [I'm sorry, did I say, "teens?" I meant,"I."] Even though I'm only 4,200 words in, I'm already in love with my characters. They're fun, quirky, bossy, interesting, and conflict-ridden. And a few are just plain train-wreckish. [Like Tiger Woods or Sarah Palin. Or maybe Tiger Woods and Sarah Palin. Ohmygod, could she have been one of his gazillion mistresses? Holy Lipstick-On-a-Pig, Batman, I didn't think it was possible for my opinion of Tiger to tank any lower!]

Like many writers, I translate the drama I see in real life into fiction. I'm fortunate enough to be surrounded by a gaggle of teens. [Yes, they're called a "gaggle." Google "gaggle" if you don't believe me... Okay, fine. I made it up. I just wanted to say google gaggle.] Of course, I cut out about 99% of the bad words they use, because, really, who wants to read a book with the "eff word" in every sentence? [Larry Flint, Howard Stern, and David Duchovny, to name a few.]

And, don't faint, but I had another revelation this week. [Must be the extra chocolate I've been strategically adding to my diet.] I realized writing is akin to Olympic sports. Yup, you heard me right folks. Like Olympic athletes, we writers rise early in the morning [afternoon], exercise [Twitter, solitaire] and GET OUR GAME ON! [Write a chapter or two and take a nap.] Sometimes we even fall down [roll out of bed for a snack] leaving random body parts [words, sentences, entire chapters] strewn about, and get up and do it all over again the next day. In fact - and you can quote me on this - the stress we writers face far surpasses that of Olympic athletes. Why? Because they only do it once every four years, while we writers sometimes write four books in ONE year. You do the math. [You hate math? Fine, I'll do it for you. 4x4=16. You're welcome.] Like gold medalist Shaun White would say, "I'm so stoked, dude, cuz like, WRITERS ARE TOTALLY RAD!"

So, as you continue to watch world-class, Olympic athletes skiing, skating, bobsledding, or whatever-the-heck it is they do on the international stage this week, remember to give credit where credit is due: to the writers. After all, it is we who work our arses off [sit on our arses while we work] and it is we who never sleep [not counting night time and mandatory afternoon naps].

SUBLIMINAL MONDAY question: What is your favorite Winter Olympic sport? My fave is Figure Skating. [Will forever be in love with Torvill and Dean.]