Can You Say "Thankful?" or Not Exactly Jerry Seinfeld

This post told me it feels like the comedian who has to go on stage following Jerry Seinfeld - not a good position to be in.

In all seriousness, the comments and well wishes from my agent-announcing post blew my mind. I am so lucky to be a part of such an amazing writing community. I must have done something right in a past life to have the privilege of "hanging out" with you in this one. I am blessed in so many ways, and am deeply thankful for your support.

WHAT ARE YOU THANKFUL FOR?
Here's a shortlist of things I'm most thankful for:
* Family
* Friends (in person and virtual)
* Health
* Talents
* My awesome new agent (*squee*!!!)
* Living in America (i.e., freedom)
* Beautiful home & food on the table
* My kids are not serial killers (at least, not that I know of, and where teenagers are concerned, I adhere to the motto "ignorance is bliss")

Again, this is a very short list. I mean, I didn't even mention my new rocking knee-high black boots or my monthly manis and pedis. (Please don't ask where they'd fall on the list! I'm not a very good liar.)

What are you thankful for this season?

DENVER AGAIN!
I arrived in Denver with my honey last night. I got to see my breathtakingly beautiful 10-week-old niece, Devyn, and many family members as well. Sadly, I didn't get to hold her in my arms and shower her with kisses since I've got an annoying cold, but I did a whole lot of staring. Here are a couple of pics of my honey holding her. Jealous? Who me?

I'll be kicking back and enjoying this week of Thanksgiving by hanging out with family and friends, eating lots of great food, and watching football. I'm excited to see my BFF Julie, since she'll also be out visiting family.

Next week, I'll get back into my regular blogging mode. Stay tuned for things like what it's like to receive your first Editorial Notes and Contract in the mail from your shiny new agent, how scary/awesome it is to have real deadlines, and how amazing it feels to (finally!) hold your precious niece in your arms.

Thanks, folks. I'll be appearing here every Thursday night right after Jerry. And remember, the more you drink, the funnier I sound! (ba-dop-bum!)

Am I on The Truman Show?

Strange Call

Monday morning I answered the phone.
"Is Tracey there?" I heard a middle-aged sounding man ask.
"No. I'm afraid you must have the wrong number."
"Sorry!" click.
About ten minutes later, the phone rang again.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Is Tracey there?"
"No. You still have the wrong number."
"I can't believe it. She must have deliberately given me the wrong number."
Like an idiot I asked, "Who?"
"Tracey, or whatever her name is - a woman I met at a bar last night."
"Bummer" I said.
"Maybe you can help me. What is it with women these days? Why would they be so cruel as to give some poor guy a wrong number? And, of course, after I'd bought her and her girlfriend drinks all night."
That's how I got into a 45 minute with a complete stranger. We discussed male vs. female, what it's like "out there" after a divorce (it turns out Mike, yeah I asked his name, who's in his 50's was married for 26 years and has been divorced for two), and how do you know if someone is "interested" vs. "lying through their teeth for drinks." And, why are all the beautiful women 'high maintenance?'
"I don't know, Mike," I said, "I run with a pretty good looking crowd, and they're not high maintenance. They're really great gals. I think that's too much of a generalization, like all Jews are this way or all blacks are that way. People are people. Everyone's different."
"Yes," he said, "but it seems like the beautiful ones are the least trustworthy."
"Then, don't go after the beautiful ones," I said.
"But I don't want to lower my standards."
"Look, Mike, you can't have it both ways. You need to figure out who you are, what you want, and go find it. You're way over-analyzing this."
He couldn't believe I judge a guy on things other than his looks. Like sense of humor, views on politics and religion, how interesting he is.
"You mean to tell me a guy gets better looking to you if he has a good sense of humor?"
"Are you kidding? Hell, yeah! In my eyes, Jerry Seinfeld's almost as good looking as Ashton Kutcher!" Not really, but I was trying to make a point.
"I can't believe you're spending this much time talking to a stranger on the phone about his love life, or lack thereof."
"Me neither. I guess you just caught me in a good mood."
"Can I call you back if I have more questions?"
"Sure, I guess."
"When would be a good time."
"There's no such thing. I'm in and out." This was getting tedious. "Look, Mike, I gotta go. I've got a potentially life-changing submission to an agent I've got to get in the mail. Good luck with the girl thing. My best advice? Lighten up a little."
"Thanks. You're amazing. Too bad your married."
"Yeah, my husband says the same thing. Take it easy, buddy, and don't dwell on the bad stuff."

Then I checked my e-mail. My daily Kabbalah greeting that some crazy friend of Madonna's keeps sending me arrived. (Kidding - I don't know how I got on their list, but they send daily words of wisdom that sometimes blow my mind) It read:

Monday, December 8

What were you doing before you opened this email? How was that action helping another person? Heavy question. But if you truly understood what Kabbalah is about – accepting the responsibility of being a channel of the Light – then you’d be thinking only of how to share and care for others.

I looked up at the ceiling and asked out loud, "Am I on The Truman Show?"

Has anything like this happened to you? Or, am I the only idiot who spends 45 minutes of precious writing time on the phone with a complete stranger?