Changing Teams

Changing teams is something I've considered for a long time, even before my husband and I split. [TMI] I'd ponder what it would be like to run my hands over a totally different, yet strangely familiar body; to take the time to know the inner workings of a similar mind; to spend days getting to know each other, touching each other, and trying to see what the younger generation takes for granted: that you don't have to be opposites to attract.

What the hell, it's 2011. People have let their guards down. It happen all the time. It's no longer taboo. You see it everywhere, right? Like on TV, in cafes, on airplanes, and, of course, in the privacy of bedrooms. I've always thought it looked sexy and admit I've been tempted, but it was never the right time or place and, to be honest, I wasn't sure if it was for me. Plus, what would my family think? My friends, neighbors, employer? [You work for yourself, you dumbass.]

Eff them. I'm not getting any younger, so I figured, what the heck! I may as well give it a shot. Life's too short to miss out on "true love" or to worry about what others think. Therefore, I've thrown caution to the wind and jumped on this new and exciting bandwagon. That's right, my friends, I've officially changed teams! [BFD. I'd rather watch water boil.]

My new girlfriend's smoking hot, unbearably sexy, and loves my every touch and caress. I can barely stand to leave her alone for a minute. In fact, she's so tantalizing, my boyfriend's not even jealous. He says he doesn't mind as long as he can get it on a bit of that spicy two-on-one action from time to time, and, who am I to deny him such a "Bucket List" opportunity? [If you left him alone with your new squeeze, his experience would be far more memorable.]

I'm sure, by now, you're dying to see a picture of the object of my affection. I've asked her if I could post a photo, but unlike Charlie Sheen or Lindsay Lohan, she's not an attention whore. She thinks that's "Losing!" not "Winning!" However, she acquiesced when I told her I'd let her pose naked. (She's a free spirit; hates wearing clothes.) Oh, and did I mention she's quite a bit younger than me? [Cradle robber.] I figured if guys can go after sweet, young things, why can't I? [You know you can do jail time for that, right?]

So, ladies and gentlemen, here she is... My latest piece of glorious arse; the love of my life; a gal who loves doing it in positions I didn't even know existed:

So, what do you think? Pretty awesome, right? Oh, wait, sorry, I posted the wrong picture. That's me about three months ago. [BWAHAHAHAHA!]

Hold on, I promise it'll be worth your wait. My real new squeeze is WAY hotter than Ms. Brown Bikini over there.

Okay, folks, here she is in all her naked glory! Ms Sophia Mariella Julietta MacBook Pro!!!!! (She's a full-figured 13 inches, but that's alright. Heck, my last love had nearly 15 inches, and I had no problems handling that!)

I know, gorgeous, right? And, trust me when I tell you, the things she can do would make a sailor blush. I can barely wait to explore her ins and outs, so to speak, so that we can give each other the fullest amounts of pleasure known to mankind. [Your "girlfriend" is a freaking computer? WHAT a let down, not that I'm surprised. I mean, what gorgeous lipstick lesbian would be lame enough to be with you?]

If you'll excuse me, it's getting a bit warm in here. I think I need a quickie with the new object of my affection. And, although I gave up smoking years ago, I just may need a cigarette after our little tryst...

What about you? Have you changed teams? Are you glad you did it? Tell me all the juicy details if you dare.