Thursday, June 24, 2010

Let's Hear it For Peace & Harmony or The Stories We Choose to Tell Ourselves

I'm reading a book by Byron Katie called, "Loving What Is." It's a transformational journey based on four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to see what is troubling you in an entirely different light. The LA Times says, "Her method can cut through years of self-delusion and rationalizations." Like Katie says, "It's not the problem that causes our suffering; it's our thinking about the problem."

Rather than fighting what is in life, try embracing it. Instead of thinking something or someone "should" or "should not" be a certain way, embrace the way it/he/she is. You may as well. After all, that's what is.

As some of you know, I've been going through a pretty rough time in my life. Or, so I thought. I'm actually just going through my life. I'm at a crossroads - a time of transition - but it's only rough if that's the story I choose to tell myself and believe. Instead, I'm choosing a different story. One of peace, harmony, gratitude, appreciation, and deep, deep love.

This book has entered my life at the exact perfect time. To Mollie and Keri: I love and appreciate your friendship more than I can ever say. Thanks for introducing me to Katie and for always being there for me.

If this sounds interesting to you and/or you're up for a little transformation in your life, here's the link to buy the book on Amazon.com.

WRITING UPDATE:
I'm more than halfway through my edits on Draft #5 of my YA novel. I'm loving it and hope Awesome Agent will feel the same way when she reads it. No matter what, I'm enjoying the process and am grateful for the opportunity to write. Everything else is icing on the cake.

Enjoy the rest of your week and do your best to love what is in your life.Justify Full

22 comments:

Mollie said...

Love ya, Deb.

Keri said...

I love you D. - K

Vikki said...

Wishing you so much peace and harmony, Deb. I truly believe that we are never given anything in life that we can't handle.

And great news about your edits! I've been the revision queen lately, too. Isn't it weird how, just when you think there isn't ANY other way you can possibly rewrite your story, suddenly there's a fresh idea?

Linda G. said...

Thanks for the link to that book--it looks like there's a lot of wisdom packed into those pages.

And hooray for your edits! :)

Donna M. Kohlstrom said...

How I needed to read this post today!! You are so right on! And I will be reading the book! Thanks!

How exciting to be almost done with your WIP! Wishing you an agent and publication soon!

Debra Lynn Shelton said...

Mollie & Keri, Hugs times infinity.

Vivi, I'm not sure about that. What about the REALLY bad stuff that happens to people that, if they live through it, messes them up for the rest of their lives? And, re: edits. YES! I love when you get even one new paragraph that brings new life to a chapter during revisions. So much fun!

Linda, Your open-mindedness is beyond refreshing.

Donna, Isn't it interesting how the right messages come to you at the right times? I think it also has to do w/being open enough to "hear" them. Glad this post resonated for you, and best of luck with whatever you're dealing with. ;-)

Jeanne Veillette Bowerman said...

Having two teenagers, this lesson of acceptance is such an important one to pass on. I try to teach them to not expect others to change or be who they wish they could be, but focus on themselves and their own actions. If the same thing keeps happening to us over and over again, the common denominator is US. Look within for everything... especially for love and acceptance. If we don't love ourselves, how can we expect someone else to?

Thank you, Deb. And I'm THRILLED about your edits! I absolutely love swimming in the details of subsequent drafts. So proud of you!
xoxo

Debra Lynn Shelton said...

Jeanne, Yup, my babies are 18 & 21, so I totally hear you there. And, "swimming in the details of subsequent drafts" - love how you put that!!!

Anne Tyler Lord said...

I'm so sorry to hear these are rough times for you. That looks like an excellent book. I wish you peace and strength to get through this transition time!

Ann Marie Gamble said...

A mom of a kid with disabilities was on Oprah, and Oprah asked, "How do you handle bad days?" Mom said, "I don't have bad days--this is my life, do I want to start calling it bad?"

I told my mom about new theories in pain relief for labor (delivering babies). She nodded along but said, "Whether it hurts or not, whether you do anything or not, the baby's gonna be born"--whether or not we "choose" the "right" way to handle it, this rock has started rolling down the hill (an attitude that sometimes induces impatience in me rather than peace: can we deal with the consequences now, please, instead of the suspense?).

I too have trouble with the "you get what you can handle" saw--groups who are discriminated against and residents of Tornado Alley ought to be supermen in that rubric! Or, as another parent of a sick child put it, what perverse power would make a child suffer to teach me a lesson?

I'm swimming in the details of a draft myself, but I may have lost sight of the shore. Clearly I need to take a moment for attitude adjustment myself. ;)

Chuck Schubert said...

Thank you for posting this. I can feel the change that has been occurring....I am grateful for you and for this life.

Debra Lynn Shelton said...

Anne, Don't feel sorry for me, I'm doing great! At least, I am now that I've realized I've got the power to choose happiness over suffering. I very much appreciate your sending me peace and strength - that's something we all need all the time!

Debra Lynn Shelton said...

Ann Marie, Thanks so much for your comments. Yes, kids with disabilities is one of the unexplainable mysteries of the world. I was just telling my son about that old Geritol commercial, "When you've got your health, you've got just about everything." I thought it was so stupid when I was a kid, but now? Nothing could be truer.

Debra Lynn Shelton said...

Chuck, We've shared more than most people ever will in a lifetime. The gratitude I feel for the many years we've spent together and for still having you in my life, is never ending.

Robin said...

I love how the right thing, be it a book, a person, a comment, or eveen a bumper sticker, hits you at the right time. That books is shifting your reality. There is a book called ASK AND IT IS GIVEN by Esther and Jerry Hicks that I read several years ago that did that for me. Whenever I reread a Richard Bach he reminds me that my reality is whatever I choose it to be. Heavy stuff and yet so very freeing. I have not heard of yours, but it sounds like I would like it. Thanks for sharing!

Ruthanne Reid said...

*hugs* Great post. And it's funny - a character of mine (with a Deep South accent, so pardon his grammar) only just "said" this last night:

"Nothing ain't ever so bad that you can't afford to crack a smile for something."

Debra Lynn Shelton said...

Robin, When you're ready to hear wisdom, it finds you. The Law of Attraction is powerful. Remaining open to attracting beauty, compassion, insight, gratitude, generosity, prosperity, and love is the ever-present challenge. ;-)

Debra Lynn Shelton said...

Ruthanne, That's one smart character! *hugsbackatcha*

Debbie said...

That does sound interesting.
And I am also wishing you peace and harmony!

Robin said...

You haven't been reading my blog long enough to know that I do dedications on Thursday. It's called HERE'S TO YOU THURSDAY and each week several people get video dedications based on what they're writing about. I tagged you this week. I hope you stop over and check it out...xoxoxo.

Stacia Kelly said...

Kudos to you on choosing your response to it all m'dear. Life is how we choose to respond to it all, the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. We many not like it much, but we can certainly choose to move on from it and who knows what lies ahead! Good stuff because of the choices. *big hugs to you*

I'll be starting on Draft #3 when I get home. I may need to sneak away for a writer's retreat....might have to sneak up your way or find a good place to take a bunch of us!

Debra Lynn Shelton said...

Debbie, Thanks. Right back atcha, my friend!

Robin, Aw, shucks! Thanks so much. You are so very kind. *amblushing*

Stacia, Thanks so much for your words of encouragement - means SO much. And, you are welcome here anytime. Email me and let me know what you need!

Like Button