HAPPY BLOGIVERSARY TO... ME!

I never thought this day would arrive, but here it is… MY BLOGIVERSARY! Go ahead, sing. I'll wait...

That was lovely, really. Who knew you had such a nice voice?

149 posts and 365 days later, here we are. Yes, ladies and gents, it’s been exactly one year since I first started this little blog 'o mine, and if truth be told, I’m feeling quite verklempt. I’m keeping a box of tissues on hand in case my tears spill over onto my laptop. I have so many people to thank for my award-winning blog, (see “Blog Bling” on the right hand side of page) but I think I'll choose just one:

I'd like to thank the one man who started me on my path to writing stardom. The first guy who really "got" my writing. His name is Mr. Douglas. Well, actually, that’s not his name. Truth is, I'm getting old and I honestly can’t remember his name. [Message from Tatiana, the Subliminal Message Goddess: It has nothing to do with her age. She's always been bad with names. She blames her dad.] Anyway, the man who I’ll call “Mr. Douglas” was my eighth grade teacher, and he was visionary enough to give me an A+ on a paper I titled, The Murder of Mr. T.J. Donahue. Seriously. A. +. [Tatiana: She remembers names of random middle school papers, but forgets names of people she knows well. Just sayin'.] The assignment was to incorporate 15 unrelated words into a paper. We could write about anything we wanted, which I thought was like majorly bitchin' cool dude. I, of course, chose a murder mystery. The only words on the list I couldn’t seem to weave into my brilliant essay were “biscuits” and “chestnuts.” So, you ask, how was the killer finally nabbed in The Murder of Mr. T.J. Donahue? Great question! Thanks for asking! [T: Is it just me? Or is she like nails on a chalkboard?] He was the guy who mumbled, “Shut up and eat your biscuits and chestnuts!” See why I got an A+? [T: Um. No we don't.]

Now, in order to demonstrate the mind-numbing changes that have occurred for me over this past, glorious year, the year in which I've penned two novels with two more on the way (not much easier than giving actual birth, by the way), I’ve decided to use visual aids. Like they say, a picture paints a thousand words. So here is a “before” and “after” shot.

The picture on the left is me a year ago - sad, unfulfilled, lacking in so many obvious ways. I mean, look at that fake smile. RIDICULOUS! And the picture on the right was taken yesterday - happy, self-confident, full of joy. See the arms crossed? Now, that's self-confidence!

Mind blowing difference, no? What? You don’t see much change? You like the picture on the left better?? You know, now that I look at them, I think you’re right. [T: She's so vain it's borderline insane. Hey! That rhymed!] There isn’t much difference. At least not on the surface...

You see, I’m convinced my DNA has undergone a major transformation over the past 365 days, particularly in the area of the publishing biz. I’ve taken it upon myself to learn as much as I can, and I think I’ve done a bang-up job. For example, I now know the difference between the terms, “Agent” and “God.” One is an omnipotent, breathtaking, transformative being and the other is “God.” (Thanks, folks. I’ll be appearing every Wednesday night at the “Sinner’s Lounge” in Hellfire, NB.) [T: She's not only vain, she thinks she's funny. What could be worse? I could tell a better joke with my one eye closed and my wings tied behind my back. Seriously. I could. I mean, if I had to. What are you waiting for? A joke? I don't feel like telling one now. But if I did, it would be like WAY funnier than hers. Pinky swear.]

I promised a certain someone cake and balloons. The cake's above and here are the balloons. Grab your favorite color and dig in to the chocolate. Hell, take two pieces. Three, even! Make a holy freaking pig of yourself. Remember what mama said: virtual calories don't count!!

[T: Here's where she gets all sappy. You may want to click out now. Don't say I didn't warn you...] The way I see it, the success of this blog is not due to the silly words I string together in my posts. It’s due to the amazing comments in the “Comments” section. For me, that’s where the magic of this blog was, is, and always will be. If you want to leave a comment as to your favorite memory or what you like most about my humble little abode here on the world wide web, feel free. There's no pressure. I mean you don't have to or anything. It would just put a Texas-sized smile on my face and like totally make my day. (I was raised Jewish and I married a Catholic. I've got the guilt thing covered.) [T: She's also got the annoying thing covered.]

So, to each and every person who has read my blog and/or posted comments over this past year, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. As Margaret and Helen – the 80-Something Blog Goddesses who I dream of writing like - say, “I mean it. Really.”

May beauty, joy, health, laughter, and happiness guide you on your journey. Namaste.

[T: She thinks she's all Zen and stuff.] Tatiana, you know what? [T: What?] I CAN HEAR YOU!!! [T: You can? Oh. Right. PSYCHE!!!]