This One Goes Out to the One I Love

EVERLASTING

As I stare across both time and space, to the deep end of your soul

My heart melts like a prayer embraced, my mind is swallowed whole

When did this dive of passion turn to star-filled endless nights?

When did your ageless mansion come to wrap around me tight?

I don’t know, I may never know, these questions linger still

All that matters now, my love, is with you I’m fulfilled

Whenever I’m with you, my love, my restless tides are thrashing

Time ticks on, side by side, endless oceans crashing

Wherever I’m with you, my love, my galaxies are smashing

Time stands still, hand in hand, dream-splashed everlasting.

For Bobby,11.29.11

Debra Lynn Lazar

Just a Few of the People I'm Thankful For...

Me and my son, Adam, Breckenridge, CO, 11.20.11

My sister, Michelle, and I, Cabo San Lucas, Oct.'10

My sister, Laurie, and her wonderful husband, Peter, Oct. '11

My boyfriend, Bobby, and our cat, Mia, August, '11.

My friends, John and Heather, Caribbean Cruise, Nov. '05.

Laura Weber Martin, Carolyn Ward Parsons, Cindy Wilson, and I. Nov '10

Me and my son, Ethan, May '10.

Me and Bobby, Sanibel Island, FL, Oct. '10.

My friend, Joanne, and I. Phoenixville, PA, Oct. '09.

Dad and Mom, Cape May, NJ, August '11.

Me and Ken Parsons, Summer '10.

Me and Bobby, St. Patrick's Day Parade, March '11.

Mom, Laurie, David (front), Dad, Me, Sharon, and Devyn. Cabo, Oct. '10.

My niece, Devyn, Oct. '11.

My nephew, Nash, Oct. 11.

My friend, Julie, and I at BEA in NYC. May '09.

Adam and I, Lone Tree, CO, Thanksgiving '10.

Me and Ethan, Rehoboth Beach, DE, August '10.

Sharon, Ethan, my cousin, Eric, and Adam, August '11.

Back Row: Adam, Sharon, Laurie, Peter, Debbie, Ethan, Bobby. Middle Row: David, Dad, Mom, Michelle, Devyn, Travis. Front Row: Arissa, Jalen, Josea. - Laurie and Peter's Wedding, 10.1.11, Centennial, CO.

This Says it All or Treasure Your Diamonds

 

That said, I'm going home to Denver to spend Thanksgiving with the people who will never leave me and will always be tied to my destiny.

Beneath is a poem I wrote recently to the one who left me behind. Scattered are phrases from songs I've written over the years.

Below that are lyrics to a song I wrote to my family when I first moved to California to follow my dreams. I've posted it before, but it remains one of the most relevant songs I've ever written. 

What have I learned over time? Diamonds (especially in people form) are precious. Treasure them every moment of every day. Never take them for granted. Never leave without kissing them goodbye. Always let them know how deeply you care.

DIAMONDS II (Random as the Rain)
The birds they circle overhead, a dance they cannot fight
Little children in the sandbox play with sheer delight
A plane climbs high and steals my mind, guides it through the night
Who am I to claim to know the answers that are right?

You colored me a love note on a paper cloth of white
I laughed and loved the dreams you offered, held them to me tight
I wore your diamond on my hand forever and again
Now it's in a heart-shaped box on tears that never end

Each of us is like a diamond, glaring in the light
Yet, blindfolds of our own design keep us in the night
Each of us is like a diamond, tainted, rare, and true
Striving to express our inner souls, our inner truths

Life takes turns we'd not imagined, choices strange are made
A shell game full of love and traitors, painful, aching shame
Our paths, they crisscross on and on, an ancient dance unnamed
One is here and one is out there, random as the rain

Do you still need me in your life? Do you see me on your mind?
I'm hoping that it won't be very long until the time
When pieces that have fallen, tossed as stones upon the ground
Will gather back together and the key to life is found

Each of us is like a diamond, unique and free and strange
Grasping onto something or someone to ease the pain
Each of us is like a diamond on a heart-shaped chain
Searching for that brightest light to lead us home again

J. C. Keys/D. L. Lazar - 9.5.10

DIAMONDS (Original)

I'm wondering, do you still need me in your lives?

And if you - if you ever see me on your minds

And I'm hoping it won't, won't be long - 'til the time

That I'll see you once again...

That I may be (may be, may be) with you again

And I love you

You know I care for you

And I miss you

You know I really (really, really) care for you

ooh ah, ooh ah...

Sometimes I feel a shiver inside

And I want you to know, yes I want you to know how much that I am trying

Could you ever, ever love me for me?

Only for me - oh, I'm asking of you...

(For me, for me and love, and love from you)

And I'm taking my mind to a simpler time

And I'm trying to find the love that I left far behind me...

Running back home where the snow sometimes falls -

Finding shelter in the arms of it all

And I'm knowing our ties won't be severed with time

That's a wonder, I'll treasure it like a diamond...

In my mind

You are my diamonds, I find

So, hold me closer to you, closer all the time

Know I do love you

Yes I love you

Said I love you all the time...

Words & Music by,

J.C.Keys/D.L. Lazar - 12.19.81

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE!!!

SUBLIMINAL WEDNESDAY: Recap on The Month of Living Deliberately - I DID IT!

I realize many of you didn't think I'd survive the Month of Living Deliberately, but I'm happy to report, I did. [Many? Hah! Try all.] Don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy, and I would recommend it ONLY to my worst enemies, [falsely insinuates you have friends] but I'm glad I did it. You know why? [No one cares.] Because I learned a few things:

1) I can control my addictions when I set my mind to it. [You put chocolate powder in your chai tea. Every. Single. Time.]

2) Just because you stop eating sweets doesn't mean you lose weight. [Damn straight. I've seen you naked in the mirror. ACK!]

3) Life is much better with chocolate and new shoes. [Seriously? YOU'RE BLOWING MY EFFING MIND! Now, I suppose you're going to to tell me the Pope is Catholic and Ann Coulter is a bitch.]

Granted, I knew #3 before I began my masochistic, 30-day journey, and I'm bordering on suicidal by #2. But learning #1 was worth the painful effort. [Nothing in this world is worth giving chocolate and shopping up for. Even newborn babies and turtles know that.]

Now that that nonsense is over with, I can, once again, get on with my life. [Yawn.] This means: finishing my current novel, becoming certified as a domestic violence counselor, working out,  drinking enough soy-no-water-chai tea lattes (with two pumps of pumpkin) to get me into the Guinness Book of World Records, snuggling with my honey, and playing with my cats - sometimes, I'll admit - in my underwear. [Ew. TMI.] There is also the occasional guitar playing, Twitter and FB chats, and dancing in my living room to The Cure and Led Zeppelin when no one is watching, [Oh, so I'm "no one" now?]

Fascinating, right? [Is that a joke? Because, if it's not, the answer is Hell, No!]

Maybe not. However, the news I'm about to impart upon you is doggone captivating. [Only idiots use the words, "impart" and "doggone," especially in the same sentence.] 

Wait for it.... 

[Too late. You've put everyone to sleep.] 

I SURVIVED AN ENTIRE MONTH WITHOUT EATING CHOCOLATE!!! 

[Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, you're like a Chinese dinner that keeps repeating itself.]

I realize I've already stated that bordering-on-unbelievable fact, but it's so patently phenomenal I felt the need to repeat it yet again. No need to thank me but, if you must, you're welcome. [It's official. You're an idiot.]

And on that spellbinding note, I will eat a small, yet intensely satisfying Butterfinger and play with my cats (most likely, in my underwear).

[Ew. TMI. Wait, did she say, "a" Butterfinger, as in "one?" Yeah, right. And Rush Limbaugh is a skinny, drug-free, Rhodes Scholar.]

So tell me, my friends. Have you ever accomplished something you didn't think you could? I realize whatever it is couldn't in any way, shape, or form compare to my enormous feat, but I'd love to hear about it anyway. 

[Anything, including staring at the wall or snoring, or even staring at the wall while snoring, would be infinitely more interesting than your "enormous feat." Hell, even your enormous feet would be more interesting than your enormous feat. BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Enormous feet! I made a joke! I'm hilarious!]

By the way, that Subliminal Message Dude thinks he's such the jokester, but we all know he's SO not funny, right?

[Wrong. And, by the way, only idiots use the words, "such the" and "jokester," especially in the same sentence. Oh, and one more thing... wait for it... BITE ME, BEYOTCH!]