Beware! Twisted, Writer's Mind Ahead

NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY GIRL!

I realize, dear readers, that due to all of my highly opinionated politicizing I've been enjoying of late, I have been a naughty, naughty girl! Not only have I slammed The Dynamic Duo to the wall with my amazing wit and insight, but I've almost completely ignored my original reason for blogging in the first place - to shamelessly promote my writing! So, I thought I'd give you a glimpse into the deep, dark recesses of a twisted writer's mind. Enter if you dare...

SPOOKY
First of all, in honor of Halloween, I thought I'd give you a scare. Don't worry, I'm not going to post a picture of myself naked, although that would definitely scare the bejeezus out of you, and that would, indeed, be very naughty. Instead, I'm going to give you a peek inside my mind, which believe me, is ten times more frightening.

WRITER'S FEARS
As a writer, I am constantly confronted with doubts and fears . Am I good enough? Am I smart enough? And, doggone on it, do people like me? Will I ever get published? Will I ever even find an agent? And if I do, will I get a multi-million dollar book deal and get to hob-nob with Lemony Snicket, Stephen King, Ann Rule and Chelsea Handler? And, anyway, what gives me the right to spout my opinions in such flagrant fashion? Did someone die and make me Queen of The Blogosphere? (See, I told you it was frightening in here. Frighteningly boring, that is!)

So, you can see, we writers have deep-seeded neuroses that we try to mine into little pearls of wisdom to propel us along our artistic journey. And, speaking of Little Pearls, I realize that many of you haven't had even the slightest glimpse into my literary masterpiece - the one that was thirteen years in the making - the one that all the international fuss is about.

And so, my friends (good Lord, I've been listening to John McCain WAY too much!), here's a look at a few AMAZING excerpts!

LITTLE PEARLS
First of all, some background:
Erma Bombeck meets Chelsea Handler in "Little Pearls" - a women's humor novel that follows the life of Jenny Shortcake from her early childhood as a Jewish American Princess living on Long Island, to her high-school cheerleading days in Denver, to southern California where she pursued her musical dreams, and finally to a McMansion in the burbs of Philly where she lives as a writer, doctor's wife, mother of two, and most importantly, tireless seeker of fine, red wine.

And now, for the excerpts:

On Marriage:
My marriage is great, although I wish my husband would stop saying things like, "Hey honey, how about a threesome? I'd love to have sex with you and someone just as beautiful as you!" I know he means well and feels this would spice up our love life, which Lord knows, after more than 20 years could use more than some rosemary or thyme. But, hello, I'm female for crying out loud! Doesn't he know if there was another woman in bed with us that I'd claw her eyes out, strangle her to death, and throw her off a bridge? Is sex with two women really worth sending me to prison for the rest of my life over?

On Dealing with her 16 Year Old Son, Alex:
Nowadays, the only time Alex and I get to spend "quality time" together is when he gets home from school. As soon as I hear him come in the door, I can't wait to see him!

Me: "Hi, hon. How was your day? I missed you so much. It's so lonely around here when you're gone."
Alex: "I hate you, mom."
Me: "Really? Was your day that bad?"
Alex: "No, really, mom, I hate you."

I wonder for a minute if I'm back in college. That was the only time in my life when people hated me for no apparent reason. Of course, I was smoking a ton of pot then, and everyone knows that makes you paranoid. But then I look around and realize, no, I'm no longer in college. I'm a married woman with two disrespectful sons, a nice house that we can barely afford, and a husband who hardly knows I'm alive. Things are so much better now!

And then a sweet but distant memory flickers through my mind: Alex at the age of two playing golf with his plastic golf clubs in our living room, a smile the size of Texas crosses his face. "Look, mommy! I got a hole in one!" I was so happy to have such a bright, happy, sweet child. God, new parents are idiots.

Advice On Getting Braces After 40:
My advice to any of you 40-noneofyourdamnbusinesses out there who are considering getting braces is simply this: forget it. Really, just forget it. Let it go. Find another hobby. It's not worth your time, energy, or precious loss of essential chocolate calories just to enhance your ever-aging looks. Face it, your time is over. You've passed the baton on to a younger, thinner, and more straight-toothed generation. Don't make the same gruesome mistake I did. Let me be the one whose mouth died for your sins. You'll be happy you did, and you can thank me later with a super-sized box of dark chocolate hearts on Valentine's Day. (That way, I'll be sure to get something on that special day that my husband always conveniently forgets...)

RECAP
So there you have it. A little peek at my precious, "Little Pearls" (but, please, don't tell my husband!). And since I'm a neurotic, self-absorbed, dark, brooding, artist type who takes every little criticism to heart, please don't be afraid to let me know exactly what you think.

Happy Hauntings, Spooky, Naughty Darlings!

Obama - The New Castro!

TAKING MY TOYS AND GOING HOME

OK, my blood is boiling at about 1000 degrees. I just received several e-mails from, believe it or not, one of my best friends. Yes, he has a half-black/half-white grandson who should be excited to have such a great role model as Barack Obama. Yes, he loves the Grateful Dead, Steely Dan, Led Zeppelin and Fleetwood Mac. Yes, he still smokes pot occasionally. Yes, he lives in a nice house and drinks great wine. And, yes, he's a die-hard Republican.

The most sickening e-mail he sent was a You Tube video comparing Obama to Castro. Just when you think the Republicans have sunk to the lowest they can go, they dig a little deeper. I am so disgusted that half of the people in this country are so blatantly prejudice, uninformed, and, dare I say it, mean! I don't like McCain, but it's not because I think he's evil like Castro. Or that he "pals around with terrorists." It's because he crashed a few too many planes when he was in the Navy, graduated near the bottom of his class, and rolls his eyes at nearly everything Obama says. And, oh yeah, when he was married to his first wife he had a torrid love affair with a hot, young, wealthy chick who then became his second wife, and, of course, there's the little issue of his voting with Bush over 90% of the time and choosing an unvetted Caribou Barbie for a running mate. In other words, I don't like McCain because of the facts of his life, not because of some BS that was dreamed up by some liberal wack jobs that has no basis in reality.

I guess it should come as no surprise that the GOP's only line of defense at this point is to make really nasty stuff up. I should be pleased at these blaring signs of desperation, that SS McCain/Palin is sinking like The Titanic, and that they see no other means of victory in sight besides playing dirty and telling outright lies. (Mike Tyson must be so proud. In fact, maybe he's their campaign manager!)

However, being the tree-hugging liberal that I am, I want everyone to get along. Kumbaya and all that other sort of rot. I just wish everyone would play nice and let the chips fall honestly where they may.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take my sweet, innocent, little girl toys and go home.

Come On, Vogue...!

$150,000 Shopping Spree
First of all, either pinch me or wake me up. I must be dreaming! One of my biggest dreams has just come true! A $150,000 shopping spree at Neiman Marcus, Bloomingdale's and Saks! Awkward, that Sarah Palin is in the middle of this fabulously amazing dream, but you know how strange dreams can be. And, really, who am I to argue? I'll take a dream come true any way I can find it!

OK, let me get this straight. While running on the premise of cutting wasteful government spending and reducing the pork barrel that's poisoning our economy, our dear Ms. Palin (is the use of "Ms." as opposed to "Mrs." too feminist for Caribou Barbie?) has spent over $150,000 on clothing in the past six weeks. How does one synchronize those opposing viewpoints in one's mind? (And I ask the following question as a certified, 12-step shopaholic: How does one spend $150,000 on clothes in only six weeks?) That's easy! Charity! How convenient. The RNC who paid for the duds will be donating all those great $1500 Neiman Marcus jackets to charity. That was a good save. I'm sure someone in the PR department got a nice pat on the back (or, more likely, a $10,000 shopping spree at Saks) for coming up with that one on the fly! I'd really love to hear how the Jane Six-Packs of the world can justify such "elitist" behavior from their adorable fundamentalist rock star.

And while the bottom of the ticket is busy pumping thousands into the death-spiraling economy, the top of the ticket is busy spouting nonsense about how Obama will "say anything to get elected." Hmmm. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black! Let me see. In recent days The Dynamic Duo have spent countless breaths spotlighting important issues like Bill Ayers and Acorn, while Obama has been on point regarding ways to resuscitate our failing economy. Yet, Obama is the one who will say whatever it takes to win? What utter nonsense. How about sending Obama and his grandmother healing thoughts and prayers? Nah. Although that would be the Christian thing to do, it would be way too civilized. And, the Republican campaign has been a lot of things, but civilized is certainly not one of them.

I had dinner tonight with my dear friend, Donna - a multi-generational Philly girl - and some folks she works with. One gal, Abby, is a Republican by birth yet a Democrat by nature. By that I mean, she's afraid she'll get written out of her grandmother's will if she were caught voting for a Democrat (her words, not mine), yet she agrees with a lot of Democratic issues (my words, not hers). What's a poor Republocrat to do? I told her to come out of the Democratic closet and vote her conscience. The interesting thing is that - like many Republicans I know - she's completely unfamiliar with the details of the candidate's plans. We were discussing health care, for example, and she figured that because McCain wants to give folks $5000 towards health care and Obama wants to insure the currently uninsured, that McCain is a far better choice. "Why?" my husband the doctor asked. "That's simple," she said, "Why should I help pay for health care for all those lazy people out there who don't work and don't want to get a job?" If that's not towing the Republican party line, then I don't know what is. Everyone out there who is struggling deserves what they get. God forbid anyone should get a hand-out. Not out of my hard earned tax dollars! They're all just a bunch of lazy slobs, anyway. Let's continue to ignore them and hope they'll go away. Oh, and let's make sure they have no access to birth control so they can bless the world with more unwanted babies. After all, that's what Jesus would want!

Now, if you'll pardon me, I'm going to go watch the Phillies lose Game 2.

The Most Beautiful Place on Earth!

HALLOWEEN IN THE NORTHEAST

This time of year is magnificent. My sister, Laurie, called from Denver today and said, "If it's this beautiful in Colorado, it must be amazing out there!" To which I replied, "This is the most beautiful place on earth!"

This time of year the landscape in Pennsylvania (and New England, where we lived for five years) is breathtaking. Or to put it less eloquently, it's a major freaking sight for sore eyes! The yellows, oranges, greens, browns, and reds of autumn are brilliant, and literally make you stop in your tracks (or pull over in your car). The multi-colored rolling hills throughout the Valley Forge area scream for artists to grab their paint brushes to try to capture a taste of this exquisite landscape. The crisp coolness of the fall air combined with thoughts of sitting by a fire with a cozy blanket and a cup (or three) of hot cocoa with a splash of peppermint schnapps make me dread a long, cold winter just a wee bit less.

And, the Halloween decorations add to the wonder of the season and make me nostalgic for childhood trick or treating. I still look forward to this holiday every year. Seeing the kids in their costumes and the excitement on their faces as you place candy in their bags brings me back to the days when, dressed as a princess with a plastic mask that was hard to breathe through (does anyone remember that?) my mom and dad would walk me and my sister, Sharon, around the neighborhood. "Trick or treat for UNICEF!" we'd yell at each welcoming doorstep. When we'd get home, we were proud of the money we collected for less fortunate kids. But, what really made us happy was all the yummy treasures we'd gathered! We'd run up to our room, tear the uncomfortable masks off our faces, and pour all the candy out of our orange pumpkin candy holders and organize as follows: Chocolate kisses in one pile, Bubble Yum in another, lollipops in another, and so on, until every single piece of candy was accounted for. Then the fun would begin. We'd trade each other for our favorites. My personal delights included: Raisinets, Hershey's dark chocolate, Nestle's Crunch, Starbursts and bubble gum. It was just like being a kid in a candy store, except the store was our bedroom and the candy was free! Plus, I got to feel like the princess that I knew I was.

TWO WEEKS TO ELECTION DAY / LESS CANDY FOR THE NEIGHBORS?
Tonight's headline reads, "Obama Widens Lead Over McCain!" Of course, this is MSNBC, so it's probably a bit biased in the liberal Democratic direction, but I'll take my good news wherever I can find it. To be fair, I also checked FOX news online and their stories aren't any cheerier for The Dynamic Duo.

Unfortunately, for those of you who were intrigued by my psycho neighbor's display of fanatical Republicanism, I don't have any new dramatic updates. Although, they have brought their kids to our house on Halloween for the past four years (even when we had our Kerry/Edwards signs proudly displayed.), I have a feeling this Halloween might be different. They just might be satisfied with a little less candy in their Republican orange pumpkin candy holders this year.

Stay tuned for more exciting episodes of "Insanity in the Suburbs!"

From Greed to Green

HOME AGAIN

First of all, I'm back home in the lovely suburbs of Philly again. GO PHILLIES!!! The good news is our "Obama/Biden" signs haven't been snagged and are still standing on our front lawn. And thank goodness, really, otherwise I'd have to replace them with the "Kerry/Edwards" sign I've got framed in my living room. The bad news is I have to unpack. I don't know about you, but there is a drastic difference between packing (good!) and unpacking (evil!). I look forward to going through the mail (blatant lie) and getting my life back to "normal." (If that ever actually happens, I'll be sure to let you know.)

FINAL DEBATE / A SPECIAL KIND OF DUMB
Before I give you my schpiel (or "spiel" whichever spelling you prefer) on Obama's upcoming landslide, I have to mention this hilarious blog my sister, Laurie, turned me on to the other day: margaretandhelen.wordpress.com. It's written by two 82 year-old women who are a total hoot! Really, this is a must-see.

Now, for my take on Debate #3: Duh, Obama won. By like, omigod, a mile and a half. Or possibly even two! Really, people, is there some sort of competition here? It's almost as ridiculous as watching Bush debate Kerry. Why are the Republicans so stupid? Is it genetic? If McCain referred to Joe the Plumber (who, btw, is not a certified plumber!) one more time, I was going to have to find him and hurt him. (McCain, not Joe the Nonplumber. My skimpy frame is no match for Joe's fake plumber muscles. McCain, however, I could take with my eyes closed, which is how I'd prefer to view him.) Speaking of which, his pompous rolling of the eyes and incessant blinking is enough to make anyone crazy. Four years of that, and I'd be locked up in a padded room. (Hopefully, with a lot of other formerly sane Americans and with cases of 2006 WillaKenzie Estates Pinot Noir!) Obama is clearly the winner here, and I predict will be on November 4th. At that point, I pray I never have to see the the ugly and annoying faces of the Dynamic Duo again (guess which one's ugly and which is annoying). Do you know how lame you have to be to make Dan Quayle seem smart? It's a special kind of dumb.

Funny Bumper Sticker Alert: Honk if you know how many houses you own!

FROM GREED TO GREEN
Mark my words: I think the fallout from the worldwide financial meltdown will actually be good! This is a gigantic wake-up call to all who have fallen into the "keeping up w/the Joneses" trap (I'm at the top of the list). Hopefully, we will transform from "Greed" to "Green" and start living like this is, in fact, our only planet, that we must take care of it responsibly and treat it with respect, and that we will start treating our bank accounts the same way - with responsibility and respect. I saw a great video the other day of this woman who had over 100 credit cards from which she was more than $30K in debt. In less than two years she managed to climb out of her debt. "Don't bother to keep up with the Joneses," she said, "The Joneses are broke!" How true! What are we trying to prove? I have been totally guilty of this awful crime for far too long. With you and God as my witness, I am turning over a new leaf! For starters, I promise to cut my facials back from once a month to every other month. Hey, a girl has to start somewhere! (Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It's been 45 days since my last facial.)

What are you willing to cut down on and/or give up? (And, please don't say, "sex." First of all, that's plain stupid. Secondly, it won't help the economy or planet any. And, most importantly it will make you less interesting and noticeably grumpier, and it's already hard enough putting up w/you the way you are.)

Winding Down In Denver

HOME AWAY FROM HOME

My time in Denver, my glorious home away from home, is winding down. I will be back in the suburbs of Philly on Thursday night. It has been such a treat to be here and to spend time w/my mom, dad, the rest of my family, and some very special friends. My mom is such a trooper! I can only hope I've inherited some of her gutsy DNA so when it comes time to face whatever challenges may arise, I will greet them with dignity, humor, and the sure knowledge that I'll blast through them and be an even stronger person on the other side. Mom - you truly are my hero!

OK, now for some politics...

EPIPHANY

I had an epiphany this week. Not only are some of my best friends back in Philly Republicans, but some of my best friends from Denver and Kansas ("There's no place like home!") are as well. Who knew? Dorothy, maybe, but not me. I figure this is probably because I scared them away with my left-wing vitriol (or, at least, I tried). I do hope they know that I love them anyway, political faults and all.

CRAZY NEIGHBOR ALERT!

We have crazy, fundamentalist, right-wing Republican neighbors who are as loony as George Bush, Ann Coulter and OJ Simpson combined. I added the OJ part because not only is this guy a crazy right-wing nut job, but he's violent as well. (BTW: he's a surgeon, which just goes to show that education does not equal intelligence. And, like OJ, he likes to play with knives.) Apparently, some smart person stole his two highly visible McCain/Palin signs off of his front yard. Too bad, so sad. So to compensate, he put his Bush/Cheney '04 sign (that he'd apparently had framed and hanging in his living room) in his yard with a handwritten note that stated, "I believe in freedom of speech, unlike you liberal pussysh*ts." How eloquent. And in a neighborhood filled with little kids who know how to read. When my 16-year old son stopped his car in front of their house to read the handwritten sign, Dr. P and his gorgeous yet arguably sociopathic wife came outside and started barraging my son into admitting that he or someone in our psychotic left-wing, liberal pussysh*t family was responsible for this vicious crime. Oh, and did I mention Dr. P was carrying a baseball bat? During the last election they accused Chuck and I of paying our kids to uproot Bush signs. How lame is that? Why would we pay them when they were perfectly willing to do it for free? Anyway, my son told him he had nothing to do with it, drove straight home, and told my husband who immediately called the cops. The cop came out, spoke to my husband and son, went down the street and spoke to Dr. Psycho (in case you're wondering what the "P" was for), and then went back to our house and basically said there was nothing he could do. After all, it's not illegal to be yelling at someone while holding a baseball bat unless you're directly threatening them with it and there are witnesses to prove it. Otherwise, he may have just stepped outside for an innocent game of baseball when my son drove up. After all, the Phillies are in the playoffs. Maybe he just caught the fever. Ah, suburban life! I can hardly wait to get home...

IT'S DEBATE TIME AGAIN, KIDS!

Tomorrow night will be the third and, thankfully, final presidential debate. (Too bad, really, because another VP battle would have been so much more entertaining!) McCain is going down in flames, however, there are still three weeks left for the Republican machine to pull a vicious, lying rabbit out of their deceptive hat. Desperation breeds insanity, and we've seen some pretty insane comments from McCain, Palin & Co. over the past week or two. Obama is apparently palling around with domestic terrorists and gets a major hard-on at the thought of raising all of our taxes. Oh, yeah, and he really is a Muslim. Boy, throw that together and who would vote for such a loser? Me, that's who. And, hopefully, 55% or so of all voting Americans. I hope that three weeks from today I will be writing about Obama's overwhelming victory and, therefore, an overwhelming victory for America.

As McCain would say it, "Remember, my friends, I love you regardless of religion, political party or race (well maybe not race.) We have to fight, fight, fight, my friends, to get America back on track! I promise, my friends, I'll start doing something completely different than I've been doing for the past 22 years. Or wait, my friends, maybe I won't. Because, I almost forgot, that even though my illustrious running mate was just found guilty of abusing her power as Governor of Alaska (where she can see Russia from her house!), we have been and always will be MAVERICKS!"

My new bumper sticker says, "I'm Voting for That One!"

The Start of The Fall

FALL IN MANY WAYS

When I was 17, I wrote a song called, "The Start of The Fall." It was early autumn when I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me with my best friend. I didn't care so much about the boyfriend, but the best friend part cut me to the core. The song had many meanings: a fall from grace; loss of innocence; changing of the seasons; loss of trust.

I think the song is relevant for the current hardship we're collectively experiencing. The fall of the worldwide financial markets is frightening and a definite wake-up call. How will we emerge from this free fall? Will life as we've come to know it be a thing of the past? Will we ever trust in our home values or 401k's again? We don't know the answers right now. All we can do is hold tightly to each other and hope for the best. Hopefully, the start of this fall will be short-lived and we'll all come out not too badly bruised...

RECONNECTING - WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!
Part of this trip to Denver has been filled with glorious reconnections with dear friends from the past. Like today, for example. What a wonderful treat to meet with my high-school friend, Cindy - a beautiful, vivacious, politically-minded gal. Catching up on thirty years of life is not easy to do in an hour, but it is well worth the effort! She is happily married with no kids (which may explain the happy marriage), a great job, and I found out she loves to play golf and read. What a sea change from my memories of smoking pot and listening to Neil Young together! And I'm looking forward to seeing Tom, one of my best HS buddies. I remember him in full KISS regalia and make-up before we went to see them in concert. And, Bill - a guy I met through work - and his lovely wife, Lorraine. Their loyal friendship is a true blessing. And, Kathleen, my dear, Republican friend (I do have some!) who is as beautiful inside and out as her home - the most spectacular I've ever seen. Watching her gracefully overcome colon cancer was simply inspiring.

I am so lucky to have such amazing people in my life. I only hope I have given them a tiny slice of the love, support, tenderness, laughter and joy that they have given me. During these difficult times, it is most important for us to stay even closer together - let's never forget, we're all in this together!

Debate Night in Denver / Mom Update

OBAMA VS MCCAIN

Well, well, well. I arrived in Denver today just in time to see the Fight of the Century. We've now been treated to Round Two of this heavyweight match. Like the majority of Americans, I think Obama won. McCain's condescending attitude toward his rival is crystal clear and highly unattractive. (Can you say, bigot?) I had the privilege of viewing the debate with my politically savvy parents and sister, Sharon ("Shelly" in Little Pearls if you must know). We're all die-hard Democrats, so it's no surprise we thought Obama scored a TKO. I wish I had a ten dollar bill for every time McCain said, "my friends" - I could pay my mortgage off! And that would be helpful, because it would be one less mortgage the banks would have to pay off under McCain's plan. And when he referred to Obama as, "that one" I about lost my cookies. (Chocolate chip, by the way, purchased at Baker's Way on Arapahoe Road.) At the end of the debate, I turned to my sister and uttered these fateful words "Obama is going to win the election." I've never even dared think that before, never mind say it out loud. I'm pretty sure I said Al Gore and John Kerry would win, and we all know what happened there... I figured it would be like a black cat crossing my path - I'd jinx the whole thing - that with one aniticipatory thought I could tragically swing the entire election in McCain's favor. Yeah, right. I don't even have the power to get my kids to eat healthier or get my husband to listen to anything I say. Like I'm going to change the course of history with a single thought.
Here's to Round Three - Oct. 15th, 2008 and the biggest event of all - Nov. 4th! VOTE OBAMA!!!

MOM UPDATE
Mom's doing great! She barely even needs me! She looks beautiful, which given she had major surgery less than a week ago, is really saying something. She's no longer lopsided, and in a few, short months she'll have a rack that will make her four daughters jealous. Go mom! More importantly, the pain she was experiencing under her right arm has subsided - that is a super-big plus. And, to those of you who have sent good wishes her way - I can't thank you enough. Although, my single thought will undoubtedly have no effect on the outcome of this campaign, your collective good wishes certainly make a very big difference in my mom's well-being. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

New Chapters

Little Pearls
OK, every time I think my book is "done" I add another chapter. Or, in this case, two. The first is on the comedy and tragedy of buying a car, and the second is on my stint as an interior decorator or "designer" as we designers prefer to be called. Thankfully, neither of these things are superficial. That might put a kink in the enormous dignity I maintain in "Little Pearls" - a Chelsea Handler-esque commentary on suburban life. (The pic above is my dream car sitting by my dream location, the beach. The car I bought? A milk-toast, 2008 white, four-door Nissan Altima parked inside my garage in suburban Philly, about two hours from the Jersey shore, which can only arguably be called, "the beach". The Altima is not quite a Mercedes Benz SLR Maclaren Roadster with a base price of $500K, but it does have four wheels and headlights. That will do for now.)

Along with politics, family, the absurdity of religion, and our tanking economy, new cars and great interior design are important subjects to me. What is important to you?

Great New Music and Movie

GREAT NEW MUSIC ALERT!
Lindsey Buckingham has a new CD out called, "Gift of Screws." It's AWESOME! Please click on the link at the bottom of the page to check it out - I promise you won't be disappointed. We've got tickets to see him live in a couple of weeks. Stay tuned for my Concert Critique. By the way, here's an interesting coincidence: Two of the songs on Lindsey's album have the same names as songs Chuck and I have written: "Wait for You" and "Underground." Ah, the great, big, mysterious musical consciousness...

RELIGULOUS
Chuck and I went to see the new Bill Maher movie, "Religulous" today. Too many LOL moments to count! What could be more fun than watching holier-than-thou religious types squirm when asked seemingly simple questions about their beliefs from a dyed-in-the-wool agnostic? It's almost as much fun as watching Sarah Palin being interviewed by Katie Couric!

Keep those cards and letters coming...

VP Debate Recap

Well, well, well. Sarah met her embarrassingly low expectations, but ever so barely. Is that good for the dynamic duo of McCain/Palin? Possibly. It may slow the free fall their campaign is in, but there's no guarantee. It's actually quite refreshing to see Red America collectively rubbing the sleep out of their eyes and waking up to the insanity of the Republican offering. Her "folksy" comments and winks were enough to put all thinking humans into a state of near frenzy. One more wink would have sent my poor husband, Chuck, flying through the TV in order to strangle her slowly. And he is not a violent man. I kept waiting for her to bring out her pom-poms and shout, "Go Republicans!" or swing a lasso in the air while yelling,"Yee Haw!" Joe Biden was calm and brilliant and clearly knows his stuff. It was like watching Cat Woman debate Ghandi. I'm glad it's over, but it's hard to imagine the two remaining presidential debates will be as interesting.

I'd love to hear your thoughts...

Successful Surgery!

DEBATE
Does Sarah Palin really have the balls to go up against Joe Biden tonight? It seems like the minute she opens her mouth, a foot immediately follows. She truly is dumber than a stump, but really, who cares. She's just vying for the #2 and possibly #1 most important and powerful person on the planet. No big deal.

Her interview with Katie Couric was more disturbing than her unbearably vacant one with Charlie Gibson. I didn't think that was possible. Her total lack of even the slightest grasp on matters such as Supreme Court decisions, finance, foreign policy or even what freaking newspapers or magazines she reads is a real mind blower. Oh, wait, I almost forgot - Alaska's proximity to Russia and Canada do lend a unique perspective for Ms. Palin in foreign policy matters. What an upper hand she has over Joe Biden! What does he know? He's only the Chairman of the US Senate Committee on Foreign Affairs (check out http://www.senate.gov/~foreign/ - I guarantee you won't find the Honorable Former Beauty Queen from the Great State of Alaska anywhere on the website.) Tina Fey's take on her is the most spot on I've ever seen. And that alone is enough to scare the living shit out of all Americans and planetary creatures everywhere.

OBAMA
Hopefully, the numbers will continue to give Obama a clear and much-deserved lead. A couple of weeks ago my dad said Obama will win by a landslide, and I told him, "from your lips to God's ears!" while thinking, "yeah, right dad - not gonna happen." My dad has always been a smart guy. I certainly hope his prediction plays out.

Obama will be here in PA at Abbington High School tomorrow morning, and Bruce Springsteen will be performing a FREE Vote for Change rally in Philly on Saturday! What a coincidence that so many of our great thinkers and artists are firmly in Obama's court. Hmmm. I wonder what they know that our Republican friends don't seem to grasp?

MOM
Mom's surgery was a huge success - yeah! Last night she was quite strung out on morphine and saying funny things. Doctor: "Judy, do you know why you're in the hospital?" Mom: "I'm having a baby!" Thankfully, I have no new siblings, and she had an uneventful night. My dad, sisters, and some of mom's closest friends are with her. Hopefully, she'll be out on Monday, and I'll arrive on Tuesday to help out in any way I can. Healing prayers and lots of love and gratitude to you, mom!

LITTLE PEARLS
I'm having fun writing what I think may turn out to be additional chapters to Little Pearls. One is on buying cars, and the other is about working as an interior designer with my dear friend, Cindy. Maybe I'll post them when they're done. I'm also about 12,000 words into my second, as yet unnamed, book.

Peace out, my friends, and Happy Debate Watching to all!